Hikari didn't bother stopping me when I finally made it home, I must've been a sight, eyes wide, grinning like a fool, probably scared the poor girl. I headed off the my room, no time for anything else, I just felt the need to sift through my thoughts, my hopes were up as high as possible, I didn't want them to come crashing back down. That would truly kill me.
As I lay on my bed, staring at at my BLEACH the movie poster, I couldn't help it, I tried to remember a day I'd been this happy before. It came to me slowly, I saw flames in Ichigo's hair, no.... the sun, I remembered all too clearly.
~
I felt so small, so insignificant as I clutched the knife, laying on the floor curled up like a dog that's been kicked. The monster stood over me, eyes wide with fury, mouth twisted into an angry scowl. He bent down, grinned, and kicked me in the face. I hated this monster, no longer my father- what father does this to his child?-, he killed my mother in cold blood three months prior, he got off scott free! I couldn't , wouldn't allow him to draw anymore breath! To pollute this world any further with his life! I aimed to kill! I didn't care what happened after, if I spent my life in prison, be content, I'd take death with a smile, take it and be grateful. I didn't fear KIRA's judgment as others did, I was good, an innocent, KIRA didn't kill innocents, and my father's death was just more proof of that, a righteous thing it would be!
Writhing in pain I managed to think more about KIRA, a smile spread across my face, a thought had occurred to me. KIRA WOULD BE PROUD! KIRA would praise me! Accept me! I would deliver this justice in the name of the Lord Kira! So, shaken, I stood, hunger in my eyes, a wild smile consuming my face. I must have appeared as a demon, the monster backed away in fear, no one had ever dared stand up again after he struck them, not mother, not me, not Mao, but this time was different, I was acting as KIRA's disciple!
From the corner of my eye I could see Mao, watching me, I looked her full in the face and smiled, my lips parted, the words came out, “I will protect you!” I lunged at the monster that use to be Haguro Soujiro.
So many things happened at once. Blood trickled from his mouth and he fell to the ground, but not before wrestling the knife away from me, he fell on it. My jaw trembled, my smile widened, Lord Kira had...passed judgment before I could...happiness washed over me, KIRA was watching over me just like everyone else. A benevolent king.
I looked back at Mao, she too was smiling, I've never been more proud of her than when she said those words, “KIRA!” I called the police and a the investigation began. The police ignored the knife wound because he'd died of a heart attack, a sure sign of KIRA's judgment.
Most of the events after that are blurred, I just remember the happiness.
~
I thought about calling Mao, but she was living in America now, I didn't want to bother her if she was out with friends or something. The smile returned, I had offered KIRA my help today, if he...or she accepted me my life would most certainly be cut short, none of the direct disciples survive for very long, but I'd be fine with that, if KIRA killed me, what an honor, such mercy. If I ended up in prison on KIRA's behalf, I'd be killed, but KIRA would make it painless, in my sleep maybe, such a merciful being, so full of good and love for this world that they take up the role of the devil to keep us safe. A tears escaped from my eyes as I thought these things, how much I appreciated KIRA.
The smile vanished. My eyes drifted to a large canvas I'd glued to the wall, a huge old english L crossed out in red. My eyes widened, “No....please don't let that person interfere! This is good! The world is finally going to be good again! The light can return to this world! Don't let it happen! Please...I beg of you, god, satan, whoever is listening to me!,” I cried, the tears became a thing of sadness. L was the harbinger of ruin!
From somewhere in the tangled mess of blankets on my bed came the familiar music that was the ring tone I set for my sister. I quickly flipped open my phone and pressed it to my ear, “Mao!?,” I snapped. “Onii-chan! I saw it! You did too right?!,” she gushed, only one thing could make her risk interrupting my sleep. “Of course I did, I told you didn't I? If we wish hard enough, a miracle will surely come true, our lord has returned to this corrupt world,” I said, trying to fight off sleep.
I was on the phone with Mao for hours, talking about what was going to happen next, I told her everything, including my note to KIRA, she too was sure it would reach KIRA. Afterwards, I closed my eyes and let the night have its way with me.
