so umm yeah my day so far kinda sucked and wish it would end but i know once today is over tomorrow will be another screwed up day. right now i can't tell if I hate myself so much i would die , or hate myself to the point i don't care what happens to me , in terms of pain or torment. I would like to speak to someone close but i feel i don't have anyone like that. so i vent out my frustration and my pain. sorry if this is a bit much , its just very difficult for me to understand and to live a life i can't really control. I will admit however when i talk to anyone on theO , i feel more and more accepted than i do in rl i suppose.