Well, first off, as most of you found out, I'm the brunette on the right. Now, on to this rant's true purpose.
Honestly, it's somewhat of a question. Am I passive? Too nice? Seriously. I feel I am. At least, when it comes to my friends. I treasure my friends and I love them dearly, but I find I just agree with them or compromise rather than actually stand up for myself. Sometimes, I'll tell them about something exciting, at least it is to me, and rather than even a "oh neat" it's a ".....so?" And honestly it makes me kind of sad, and dampens my mood, even though I know it's not their intent. It's just like, thanks for your enthusiasm. I guess I really shouldn't complain, I just....*sigh*
And sometimes, I have arguments with my friends, who decide that they are going to push their opinion like it's the most godforsaken best thing EVER. I respect their opinion, but I realize that my feelings and my opinions matter too and I need to stand up for it. Some of my friends even pick on my other friends, and I don't always defend them as much as I should because I'm too much of a chicken-ass to say anything. I mean, I do defend them, but I don't want my other friend to get mad at me, so I don't say too much. What the flying fuck is my problem???!!!! Is it all in my head, or am I as trapped in a box as I feel? When I speak my mind, it angers people sometimes and I get in trouble, and when I don't, I beat myself up for it. I love my friends to death, but do I tell you all stuff at the risk of you getting mad if you don't agree with me, or do I keep my mouth shut at the risk of it hurting someone else?
Someone please just help me sort this out....I'm so damn confused.