hmmm i realized that im hardly in the chat anymore, well considering the people i want to talk to are either hardly there or that we just dont have anything left to talk about, sure i had some great times in the chat, but at the end of the day i have to get back to reality, its not like im missing anything while im away, not many people really care for me anyways, except for the few true friends i made in the chat, but all in all im not that important for most to bother talking to, tho i do miss the old chat where it was actually FUN to be in everyday, these days, well actually the days that i do go, i feel like im being treated with a mild neglect, the people i thought i could actually talk to dont really talk much, either they stop half way through a chat or they decided that following another person to another room without telling is much more important than talking to me, so in the end its more like a WTF situation, i try my best to talk and all i get in return is silence or a "name" went to "name of room" notification. and then im being left hanging, so what? now i have to follow that person just to talk to them when they clearly left me hanging? fuck that, im tired of being a nice guy trying to strike a conversation when others dont even appreciate it. if people dont want to talk then just say so, and not waste my time, i try being nice and i get nothing in return when things like that happen
and aside from all that, there are times where there's nothing left to talk about, or that i get the feeling there's this barrier between us causing this awkward moment, sometimes i just feel like telling em that lets just stop talking, but its hard for me since i've known them for so long i just dont want it to end like that, all the good times we've had and such, but in the end it all goes down to a few simple facts, the chat isnt reality, no matter how much you love one person in there, once they find their own love in reality its over, people who say are your friends arent truly real friends, sure they can comfort you, talk to you, and all that, but a friend in reality is worth more than a online friend, there are just things that only a person standing in front of you can do that a online one cant. a friends hug can really do wonders than an e-hug can do, maybe its just me but i prefer a real hug to comfort me rather than an e-hug, sure i appreciate the thought but an e-hug just doesnt have that effect a real one gives. and if i tell someone i love them online sure things might go well for a month or two, but if that person finds a real person to love then its all over, so why pour all your emotions and feelings to the person when one day either one would find a real person to love and share their time with. sure i've had a few of those e-relationship, some were nice and some weren't, its nice for some who wants to get away from the past and all that, but in the long run its not going to last. and i get so emotional online, why? i have no idea, maybe coz i have feelings for those people i care for, but reality cant be any more harsh, you care for one person the one day and find out the next they've moved on and have someone to love, so where's the point in all that effort? and of course we talk about meeting each other in the future and such, and sure i have the means, but is there a point if the other already has a life to enjoy? basically im just plagued with all these questions in my head, sure i'd love to visit my friends and see how beautiful their country is, but mostly just to visit them and get to meet them finally and actually get to know them personally. so i may sound like im talking crap about the chat, but this is from my perspective, maybe for others they've had better times who knows. i've been a friend to all, a person to care for to a few, a person to talk to about their problems to most, the perv king to all who know me, so yeah i've been there for most of my friends when they needed someone to help them, and of course there are some who've been there for me when i needed someone to talk to about my problems and i am grateful to them for what they've done.
so for those that have known me since the beginning, its been a blast, we had the best of times, maybe coz we were younger it was more fun and now that we're older things changed, who knows, but reality is harsh at times and we have to get back to reality sooner or later, and as for me well im already 21 yrs old turning 22 yrs old soon, there's a limit to what i can do on a chat thats mostly occupied by teenagers most not even reaching 18 i mean c'mon what am i suppose to talk to kids thats 14/15 yrs old about??? the topics are completely different
but yeah im thinking about not coming to the chat rooms anymore, most of my friends have me on msn and such even tho most of them dont talk to me except for a few who i truly call friends. so thats what im thinking about now, i might pop in now and then to see some friends and such, and holy mother of ponies and midget sized leprechauns i wrote one long ass post, probably one of the few where i actually spent over 10 minutes typing them down!!!
anyways those who wants to talk to me about this topic feel free to pm me or write to me on my msn for those who've got me there. or if your lazy you can comment it, tho im pretty sure not many would bother anyways. well see ya's im heading off to sleep since i just finished my registration for my university rooms. ciao
p.s so to all my buddies, its been great knowing you all, we had the best times of our lives together, deena 'twas nice knowing you and the fun times we had, chee i still love you, if fate allows it we'll meet soon, i still wish you the best of luck with things over there and may you be happy, saku well whats there to say? you have me on msn so its not like its goodbye haha, hmm who else can i include here, my loyal servants you've served me well but if you misbehave the yuri paddle shall return >:D
but deena and chee you both have me on msn, you guys can always talk to me on there, even tho we hardly talk anymore but we still have the chance to talk.
and for those who i have forgotten, im truly sorry but its like 2:18 am my brains fried to the max to my thought processing is at its limit.
