Time for another emotional rant.
So, as many of you know, lately I've been having struggles with Ninja being... indifferent. We hardly talk, if at all, even though we sit at the same lunch table together.
However, today I had a realization that may change the entire landscape of the situation.
I... have a yandere personality.
No, I'm not violent, but when I have a crush I do tend to become obsessed/desperate, changing the subtleties in my life, trying to please them. I usually don't mind if they don't like me back, the frustration comes when they don't lay the line on what's too creepy and what's not. And, well, Ninja's never really given any semblance of a line, let alone layed on down.
This puts on the line the decision on whether to attempt to abandon the crush altogether in order to save what friendship we have, or to continue on the risk that whatever I'm doing is slowly destroying the relationship between us. The lack of knowledge on where he stands doesn't help at all.
Not to mention a lot of the little things I used to base my self esteem on have gone down the toilet as of late. So now I'm floundering for things and reasons to be happy, most of which only come from watching Naruto Shippuden, Xiaolin Showdown, and making wallpapers.
So, in conclusion, right now I feel as if the title of this post were true: I am scum.
