I just felt the need for a good ole fashioned rant. Todays topic: The Wii.
A Sin against nature.
There are just so many problems with the Wii. I mean, the only problem with the Xbox 360 is it's tendency to get the Red Ring of Death. The only problem with the PS3 is its price. The Wii? I would say don't get me started, but I'm starting.
1) The Controller
I cannot begin to describe my absolute loathing for the Wii remote. It completely flies in the face of the controller design that has been set in stone since Third Generation gaming.
We did not invent video games to exercise. They invented them so you could do something fun while exerting as little energy as possible. And more than a few people have had to spend a couple grand when they forget to use the strap and fling the wiimote at their $3000 Plasma Screen.
There is also fact that there are about a dozen different accessories for Wiimotes. Some of them are absolutely necessary in order to play one game or another.
When I play a game, I do not want it to bloody cost anything beyond the electric bill for using the console, and the price for the game.
And the games. Oh, THE GAMES!
2) The Games
I cannot begin to describe my horror upon seeing such games as Dancing with the Stars, Viva la Pinata, and Dogz.
Absolute atrocities to the gaming world.
There are good titles, I'll admit- Smash Bros Brawl, Twilight Princess- but they number about as many as my fingers and toes.
As Christopher Hartmann puts it, they're beacons of quality in a sea of shit.
Some of the games completely mortify the gamer in me. It is outright wrong to play a game about cooking! (See: Cooking Mama)
This is what they build those bloody educationl Leap Frog things for!
Excuse me a moment, I'm so blind with rage and contempt I've forgotten my third point... Ah.
3) DVD
I utterly shocked me when I discovered the Wii doesn't play DVDs.
The 360 Plays DVDs. Every Sony product but the PSP and PSX plays DVDs.
What in the Nine Hells possessed them to leave the Wii without such a quality?
What makes the Wii so damned special it doesn't need to be DVD compatible to help boost revenue!?
Admittedly, I am not so embittered by this point as the others, but it nettles me still.
Well, I have said all I wish to say about the Wii. I have relieved myself of the rant, and will no more look upon or speak of the Sin Against Nature until such a time as I actually possess the few good titles- beacons and life rafts in this sea of despair, comfort for my sorrow over Nintendo selling out mind, body, and soul, just to make a damnable profit.
