*sigh* i'm meant to be reading a starter pack online for english lit, but i can't find the stupid thing and i've looked absolutly everywhere on the site. It's really annoying, i'm going to be weeks behind everyone else, even if i do start today T_T and i can't start because i can't find the stupid thing i'm meant to be reading!
Grrr, sometimes school can be really, really annoying. But at least i don't have to do physics anymore, which is definatly a good thing, even though i feel like a quitter for dropping it. But i'll be much happier if i have an A/B grade in lit at the end of the year rater than an E/D grade in physics, and i don't really need it in any of the university courses i'm interested in.
Still i feel bad about dropping physics, even though i know i would have failed it, after all i was only in the class for less than two weeks. Damn it!!!! Why the hell do i always end up regretting my decisions! No matter how much i think them through before hand! T_T i feel really bad at the moment, damn it i hate feeling like this!
*sigh* sometimes i miss being little and having everyone make your desisions for you. I guess i could always change my mind, but i don't want to, and if i don't start lit now then it'll be too late to do it later. T_T Yr12 is way to complicated.
And to think in yr10 and 11 i was happy doing all the science subjects and i knew i'd be able to get into any course i wanted to. Gah, i guess i can always redo yr12 physics at tafe if i really need it later, i should just be happy with the choices i've made, but i'm so damn indecisive that that's nearly imposible.
Still as long as i get a really good TER score then it shouldn't really matter, and it's not like i'm the first person to drop out.
But it still feels like i'm letting myself down, which is stupid, seeing as i hate the subject and i'm really bad at it. Gah i wrote three A4 pages trying to make this decision and it was pretty much all saying that i should drop it, but now i've done that all my reasoning points in the other direction. *sighs* Sometimes i really hate myself, i always overthink things.
Damn it!!! I hate this so much!!! Stupid, stupid logical brain! Why won't you just shut up and let me be happy with my desicions for once??? Is it really that hard??
*sigh* I guess i still think i made the right desision, it's just the thought of all the lost opportunities that annoys me, not that i was even vaugly concidering doing any of the courses that i need physics for. I guess it's just the fact that before, if i changed my mind, then i could still do them, but now i can't. Then again i'm pretty sure about what i wan't to do when i get older, which is either; forensics, genetics, work in the police force, be an author or artist
