I'm feeling low again, and I can feel the good old cycle, but there is utter despair because I can't seem to break it. I feel like I go through depression time and time again, and the feelings feel haggard and almost like an artform in themselves; I wrote a poem about it, but it's in my diary, so I'm not going to copy it out because I'm at school. A tiny little thing like putting too much water in the rice to make it all soggy sent me into a rampage of crying and being careless and harsh with things, to add insult to injury as well, my mum wasn't even at home because she was out at a job, but I spent the whole day with her, so I didn't mind so much, but the fact that it was all over-whelming is quite severe because it has begun, and these kinds of things don't wear off until the end of term, which is 18th July where I can have sufficient sleep. I think the root cause is sleep-deprivation, because things get to you when you're tired. I hate the fact that I know how, when and where I'm going to fall to pieces because I can do nothing to stop it from happening. I'm retreating into my dark place, and I just need to be pulled out.
*sighs* I hate having the knowledge but being powerless.
Here's to me clutching to everything sad and holding it inside.