I am in the greatest of moods right now. I had a good day and i am in a very peaceful state at this moment. listening to hungry lucy, which always makes me spirit glow =]
Ron just said the cutest thing lol. He is kind of a science nerd, so sometimes he'll go off on this science talk that i dont get at all. He tried to explain resonance frequency to me and in the end he was like "so basically brandi, we oscillate eachother."
hehe, i love it. I get to see him tomorrow at work, i must find a way to get him alone and smother him in kisses for that one. things are going like...surreally awesome for us. it kind of scares me.
So today i saw this guy that i went on one date with way back when i never did stuff like that. i was really stepping out of my comfort zone when i went on that date and the whole time i hardly said a word to him. needless to say, he never called me back. I never called him. That was the end of that. it hurt my feelings a bit but i mean, i was just happy that i had done it. it was really the start of my turning point in my life.
it was funny seeing him. he noticed me clearly but we didnt even acknowledge one another. all i could think about was ron, and how amazing he has been to me. and i think thats why i am in such a great mood lol.
But anyway, so it is november 1st(almost 2nd) and that is the start of the NANOWRIMO.
a writing competition that takes place this whole month where anyone around the world can take part and try to write a 50k word novel in 30 days.
for a writer, it is a pretty fun experience, especially your first time. however this will be my 3rd time. the last 2 times i tried really hard but never reached 50k because i just couldnt stop judging my writing harshly. This year i hadnt even thought about what i was going to write about because, well, i havent even written anything in a long time. its sad. i really do miss my writing, and how much joy it gave me in some of my darkest hours.
I am at an amazing state in my life at the moment. at least i am happier then i have ever been. Yet i still yurn to have a passion, something i can do and love and have all to my own. that used to be writing. I really have no idea why i can no longer write....i question it quite often. And i keep telling myself "one day brandi, you'll find your muse and get back into the writing grove"
but when will that day come? how long will i put it off? sometimes i just wish i could let it go, just let writing go forever. But something inside of me cant let that happen.
