Get Out: Shanice's Fairy Tale
I never knew that life could be so complicated. In the movies, love is shown as nothing but a smooth, glorious course; free from any curves or detours which make one person question their love for the other. In fairy tales, Prince Charming swoops in and wins the heart of the princess with a single, simple, tender kiss on the lips. I always believed that love and life were as simple, even as magical, as this. Then I met you. When you came into my life, my whole perception of love was altered.
High school; that is where I first met you. It was another boring day in Haruka-sensei’s algebra class. The whole room was practically asleep, lulled into a coma by the monotonic melody of our instructor’s voice. I sat alone in the back of the room, one of the few captives that was still alert. I felt that it was in my best interest not to fall to Haruka-sensei’s lullaby, considering that I was still very unfamiliar with my surroundings. I had just transferred from an American school and stood out like a sore thumb. A 5’11’’ young American girl, with a mahogany complexion and (natural) grey eyes, seemed to be quite intriguing to the kids at our school. I obviously intrigued you as well, for you came up to me as soon as we were released from our educational prison.
“Oi,” you greeted me with a smile, “my name is Suikotsu-kun. What might yours be if I may ask?”
“Shanice-chan,” I replied in a very shy voice, my slumped posture revealing how very insecure I felt at the moment.
“Sha-nice-chan?” you repeated, sounding out each syllable in a way as if you were trying to brand the memory of my name into your head. I nodded a reply. Your smile became even warmer. “Pleased to meet you Shanice-chan. I hear that you are from America.”
“Hai.”
“Well let me be the first to welcome you to Japan properly. Classes have ended now, so do you want to go grab a bite to eat?” A small smile appeared across my face.
“Hai, arigato,” I courteously replied. You extended a hand out to me and I graciously took it, secretly wondering if you were the Prince Charming in my fairy tale.
I stand weak kneed as I stare at my reflection in our bathroom mirror, slowly reaching up to gently touch the swollen lip that He had just given me. I wince as I touch it, grey eyes fluttering closed and snapping open a mere second later. Wench. That is what He called me when He hit me. I don’t know what I did that caused Him to become so angry with me. I never know what I do wrong, but that doesn’t mean that He will refrain from lashing His fists of hatred and resentment all over my being. I try to stop the tears welling in my eyes as I think back on my beating earlier tonight.
I came home a little late from work that evening. The house was pitch black so I didn’t think that anyone was home.
“Where were you, Shanice?” I heard His voice ring out from the darkness.
“Teishu?” I asked, my confused mental state apparent in my voice. As soon as I returned your question with my own, the lights in our living room clicked on. I immediately knew that you had transformed into Him. I could see His insatiable hatred burning in your eyes. He had taken over your mind. I know that not you, but He is the one who hates me.
“Where were you, Shanice?” He asked again, His voice iced over with more malice than before. I slowly and timidly backed away from Him.
“I…I-I had to work late, honey,” I replied, unable to mask the fear that I had for Him at the moment. He smiled. That devilish, evil grin that can only hint at another night of misery.
“You lie, okami. You were with that bastard weren’t you?” He violently asked.
“Bastard?” I asked confused.
“Fu. That bastard at your job.”
“Fu and I are just co-workers. That’s not why I was late honey. I had to work over…”
“Wench!” He cried out before striking me across my face. My head careened to the side in a violent manner. He stared down at me, facial expression proclaiming how much my pain aroused him. He bent down and jerked me up by my neck and slammed me into the nearest wall. “Wench! You lie!” He repeated before colliding His strong ivory hand against my ebony face again. I winced as I felt the blood trickle down my chin and into my shirt, absorbed into the pure white fabric. “Tell the truth onna! You bedded Fu, didn’t you?!”
“No! I swear I have been completely faithful to you,” I choked out through sobs, “I want no one but you. Please Suikotsu! Come back to me.” My response earned another strike from Him.
“Wench!”
“Suikotsu!”
“Wench!” He cried out before hurling me against the wall next to the one that I was currently on. I gasped loudly as my back hit the cold, hard internal structure of our home. I continued to sob as I slid to the floor, leaving a trail of blood on the snow white wall. The blood trickling down my back now as well. I stared up at Him with foggy eyes as He stalked over to me, as I now lay curled up into a ball on the floor.
“Su-Suikotsu,” I whispered through a broken voice, “please come back to me. Don’t let Him take over your mind. It’s me, Shanice. Your wife. Suikotsu. Suikotsu…please…please.” He paused. He stared down at me with a hard, blank stare, as if His mind had just shut down. “Suikotsu. Suikotsu,” I continued to call out for you, hoping that you could somehow hear me. “Suikotsu…please…come back.” I knew I had reached you when I saw your eyes turn back to the warm brown ones I fell in love with, and when I heard you say…
“Shanice?” in a concerned, panicked voice. I knew that He had left, and I had you back.
“Suikotsu,” I weakly greeted you, a feeble smile on my bruised and swollen lips.
“I did it again, didn’t I? I…hurt you. I beat the one whom I call okami,” you whispered to both me and yourself as you slid to the floor beside me. I was about to answer you, when you pulled me into a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry Shanice,” you sobbed on my shoulder as you held me, “I don’t mean to cause your suffering. I love you. I…I just don’t know what is wrong with me. I-I don’t know how to control Him. Pl-please forgive me Shanice. Please, don’t leave my side. I need you. I need you.”
“Please forgive me Shanice. Please don’t leave my side. I need you.”
Those are always the words you greet me with whenever He leaves. Your tears flow from your eyes in an attempt to wash away the sins that He had committed against me. You beg me to stay. You beg me not to leave you alone. It’s hard, but I somehow manage to fulfill your wish of me staying by your side. I know that you don’t mean to hurt me. He is the one who wishes to cause me harm. How you became this way, no one knows. Even the doctors cannot figure out what triggers your mental disease.
“Get out Shanice,” is what I constantly hear the ones around us say. “Get out while you can. He will kill you if you don’t.” Even your family advises me to get out. Bankotsu, Renkotsu, Jakotsu. All of them know what He does to me.
“I know that you love him and he loves you, Shanice, but if you don’t get out, he will murder you,” Bankotsu warned me, “I don’t want him to put you in danger. You are as much my sister as he is my brother.” He is the one who prevents you from becoming the Prince Charming in my fairy tale…but still…I cannot leave you alone.
The times with you are amazing. So much love is shared between us when He isn’t around. You do such nice things for me and you treat me like a typical fairy tale princess. You make me feel like I am the most special girl in the world. Your heart is so genuine and pure. It’s like He doesn’t exist at all.
The nights you’re with me are even better. I often feel your heart as it beats against my back, your slow, calm breaths in my ear, soothing my broken spirit as you hold me in your strong arms, protecting me from the world. The way you whisper in my ear and hold me tightly and tell me how much ‘I love you,’, always makes me feel better, even if those moments do come after one of His beatings.
“Shanice,” I hear you whisper my name, knocking me out of my trance. I look back into our bathroom mirror. Your face holds much concern and worry. Your cheeks stained with tears. Your sorrowful state very apparent.
“Hai, teishu?” I whisper back to you in the mirror. You say nothing as you walk over to me. You wrap your arms around my waist and lay your head on my shoulder.
“I love you, Shanice. I love you with everything in me. So…if…you feel that you need to leave me…I want you to. I’d rather live a life not having you in my arms if it means that I don’t have to make you suffer anymore.” I close my eyes as I feel your bare chest rise and fall against my back. A single tear slips out of my eye. Now, even you are telling me to get out. Maybe I really am a fool for staying with a man who beats me regularly, regardless of what his mental condition may be. Maybe I really do need to…get out.
“Suikotsu,” I whisper as I open my eyes. I see your eyes stare down at me in question and fear. I reach down and remove one of your hands from around my waist and lead it to my chest. “Do you feel that, Suikotsu? That belongs to you. Not to Him. And I refuse to let Him take away what rightfully belongs to you.” You stare at me in dead silence a few moments more before a small, weak smile spreads across your face.
You gently kiss my cheek before lying your head back on my shoulder. No more words are shared between us at that moment.
I know that you might not be the Prince Charming that I always imagined my husband to be and that this fairy tale might not have a happy ending, but I know that you love me, even if He doesn’t. That is the reason why I cannot get out.
