I was reading some of the comments that people said to me when I first posted my art, and some of the things I said...It's so embarrassing and sad! I seemed like such a sad little girl back then, misunderstood and stuff...
If somebody corrected me, I'd say something back explaining why I did that, or how I didn't know about that, and it sounded so sad! TT^TT I sounded like a depressed little girl back then! DX I'm not so much now, I hope. I HOPE I seem like a weirdo, like I'd like to be! XD
I hope to have an image in the future as a weirdo "It" thing, similar to Shiro or something. And I'd dress in girly boy clothes...O.o Ermm...no I mean, I'd dress all Visual Kei style! XD Yep. That's one of my dream images, the "It", the one who bares nothing. I want to be completely neutral...well, I can have a personality.
But I'd like to be belief-less (check), culture-less (almost...stay away from me America! I'm sorry Japan!! TT^TT I'll still love YA Scandinavia and the UK), gender-less (if that's possible, really, could you make a person gender-less,I mean, with their reproductive system. I don't mean, genderless in that way, but I wonder if it's possible, since you can make a girl a man, and a man a girl, can you make somebody gender-less?), and...well, I think that's enough to become neutral. I'd like to be like my name (which I won't tell you, but it's sure to mean something). You could try guessing, but still won't tell you my name, it's too important to me!
Anyways, have any of you guys read your old comments? Mine are soooo sad!! TT^TT No wonder I cried so much. I don't cry as much anymore, but I am still very sensitive. Usually if I'm on the verge of tears I just ignore whoever I was talking to...or if they're in the middle of a conversation with me, and make me upset to where I'm about to cry I'll just say ,".....Okay.....".
Do you guys ever have it where somebody asks you a really rude question? I mean, they're in your face asking you something you wouldn't like to answer, or telling you something you don't want to know. I get that all the time, I wish I could just push them away and say something incredibly insulting, but I'm afraid that will hurt them...>.>
I could be REALLY mean, but I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings...I don't like seeing a frowning face...
This one time I made fun of my friend because he had no where to sit when we were eating dinner at some restaurant on a field trip. And then he just looked at me with a really sad face...and I just broke into pieces and almost cried...(I still made fun of him the rest of the trip, since he did deserve it since he's such a jerk to everyone....and his sexual jokes..UGH!! TT^TT MAKE THEM STOP!!)
I have times when I just feel like I broke into pieces...like whenever I hear anything about smoking, or see somebody smoking...My heart just breaks....I don't like to know who smokes...And I live in a state FAMOUS for tobacco...>.> This one time I was thinking about people who might actually smoke, and I couldn't stop crying. I was thinking of my favorite singers and such. I already know people in SMAP do, and Gackt does (I'm still sad about that...my pain won't go away, so I'll never be more of a fan for him because of that), Ai Kago, and Maki Goto do...I'm okay with Maki, though, for some reason...I don't love her as much, but I can't help but love her music and dancing! TT^TT
Even if I have no clue who the person is who is smoking, if they are teens or a bit older or younger (like 20's), my heart will break....it I'll be really sad and shocked...I wonder if I have a problem...
I'm okay with drinking, though. I think it looks pretty! I just don't want to see any drunk people...I mean, face to face. I'd probably run away from them, even if they were my friends...friends who I should be driving home since I'd be the designated driver...XD
Mmm'kay, enough of talking about feelings. I gotta go to bed!
DAAAAAME! DAME! DAME! DAME! DAME! DAME! Jiri! Jiri!! XD Love that song! Perfect song for frustration! XD
