Okay, I'm pretty frustrated right now...Why?
I CAN'T FREAKING COMMENT! TT^TT It's sooo...soo bothersome...whenever you try and comment and then you get that weird screen with everything listed..."orz I WANT TO COMMENT! TT^TT
Okay, but that's not my point...XD
I've noticed that I keep getting in a...I guess it would be called a rut. Where I am kinda having an artists block, but it's more that I.DON'T.WANT.TO.DRAW kind of feeling whenever I make myself do too many challenges. This is when I should learn to stop commenting on challenges. Every time I do I get all this pressure to get the picture done...TT^TT It's terrible...
So I'm just going to finish this one picture that I've been trying to finish for months now. The problem with it is that it's not good, no matter how many times I've tried drawing it I get really tired of drawing it and just slop something down, then I get frustrated with myself that I'm allowing myself to do something so crappy...
So I'm guessing the end result will be very bad..."orz
Anyways, after I finish the picture then I will force myself to stop doing all this challenge business and get to the real business that I've been procrastinating this entire summer.
Darn challenges are too addictive...TT^TT I should learn to ignore them...
I still haven't done my homework, I still haven't done much language study, I still haven't worked on my manga, and I keep forgetting to work on stuff for Fantasia and my story...>3>
I'm frustrating myself.....
...I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL! TT^TT School for me is just something that feels like its holding my back. Before I was in all these classes that were higher for me in reality (but they didn't want to tell you that because then you wouldn't want to do it, but they told us anyways), then I get put in a public school where everything is just a breeze. I don't have to think about anything, and when I do, I don't get any answers...
Then when it comes to the big tests, I don't get high scores because I learned nothing in these classes. So public school, for me, is a big waste of my time. Hurry up and just throw me into college.
Don't give me free time. I don't know what to do with free time. You can tell by what I do on the internet half the time. I just stare at pictures for hours...or go sit down and stare at the floor...
It's a pain...a pain...
Oh! But in other news I finally watched Clockwork Orange~! :D But I missed the first 30 minutes...so I only vaguely know of what he did wrong, so to me he just seems like a normal guy! XD Okay, not he doesn't but still.
My mom makes this big deal about how my brother and I don't really get disgusted by sex and violence in videos...mostly movies. She always does. I sometimes do if it has to do with certain kinds of violence and when they make it really dramatic and certain kinds of sex...but Clockwork Orange didn't bother me except for the parts when he gagged...'orz Gagging gets to me! TT^TT
The thing is we KNOW they're just MOVIES. When I heard about that little boy who was slaughtered by some man he went up to, to ask for directions...Well, I'm not disgusted, I'm just...fear I guess...In shock. I still have nightmares about the poor boy! TT^TT Or when that lady drowned in the pool.
I don't like watching the news too much because it brainwashes you. Especially the news nowadays, I don't know how it was before, but apparently it was more factual. But now it's more opinionated. The majority of the things they report on they use opinions in. My English teacher gave us an article to look over and write down all the facts and opinions in it. Of course, it was very balanced, and that kind of is the problem. In order for the reporter to understand the situation they must wrap their opinion around it, then when they have to explain it, the only way to get other people to follow it is to use storytelling to explain it...set it up for them with things that aren't entire facts and throw in some emotional opinions. So something looks bad when it really isn't entirely bad.
When the public hears this then they get their own opinions about it, so often times they go and complain about the wrongdoing, when it really isn't as bad as it seems, they were just given the wrong set of facts.
Of course, I speaking about political stories. Usually when you hear reports about other in the American news it is usually subtly negative, or completely negative, when the situation wasn't all as bad as it was in that country, or maybe even worse that it had been portrayed in our media.
My point is that America is more of an aggressive country. One of the few things it's good at involves warfare...and my brother shot me down on some aspects of that, that the Germans created most of the 'impressive' weapons used today. Our culture is aggressive. Thinking of it that way, that also makes sense as to why everything is so huge in America (if you know what I mean...and I'm not just talking about weight. Houses are huge! Why?). It's all because of Manifest Destiny...and maybe further back than that.
When America was colonized it came onto land that was already owned by Native Americans, but they fought for it over and over and over again so naturally America became an aggressive country.
Enough about America (I lost my train of thought...'orz), I must say, Germany and Japan have the most interesting histories that I can think of. Well, all countries (in my opinion) have really interesting history. Looking back on history to examine how cultures came to act a certain way....it's very interesting. But looking at World War II and looking at them now...you wonder how Germany and Japan came to turn from such warlike and power hungry countries to such well behaved countries...I think it has to do with the culture. Once they had something to turn them around or had been given rules to follow, they changed their focus to better things. And they've become pretty great countries.
...Agh...I've lost my train of thought again...XD
Anyways, I guess I'll stop ranting about...whatever I was ranting about...
I don't know what to do now. But I know what I don't want to do~! :D
Oh! One more thing! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEAAAASSEEE somebody enter ICHiTa's challenge Draw Me My Etique~! I don't want to be the only one to enter...I keep looking back at it to see if anybody else posted something before me, but nobody has, yet...TT^TT Please tell me that you are PLANNING to at least. That's the picture I've been working on lately...and after all my hard work I want some challenge...>3> Plus, it's a fun challenge and it's good for you to draw other people's characters! That's what you'll have to do in the job world! :D
Alright, then! Good night and good luck! :wink:
(Nothing's working on theO...WAIII...TT^TT)
