Too much thinking today...need to destresss...but I can't do it without thinking...so the best way to not think is to just TAIIPPPP
So I'm just rant until I feel sleepy....XD
I have been having trouble with my article I am writing with expectations to publish 'cause I don't feel worthy of publishinggg...;3; I got lots of nice crits today and then I went to my professor's office for more explanation and I totally just dropped the bomb and decided to change my topic last minute. He told me to write an outline tomorrow and see if I still want to do that. I thought that'd be a waste of time so I decided to do it to tonight and alas...no context...
My second idea was to write about shounen manga's display of violence and how HunterxHunter critiques it..but it seems like Togashi just has fun killing his characters. 'course you can never tell with humble authors...
'nway...in my research I came across this lovely article about Evangelion and Lain. He has soooo many great points and I was like 'I am totes doing this in my webcomic' And then I started thinking about my webcomic and not my paper and now my brain is dead...'cause I was thinking about the big twisty thing I am trying to go for in the story and....yeah....brain is dead...
My train of thoughts basically went like this: So this guy is gonna be super duper powerful...but then wait a minute, the super duper power is coming from the mind so how did he get the super duper power. He must have some sort of mental disorder that makes him more sensitive to these things..But then he's hooked up to a computer/machine thing...so what if he is just being powered by software...what if his mind is just software? What the heck is this person? Are they a human being or what?
And then my head imploded. Yup. Giving me a headache just thinking of it. So I didn't want to tough my paper or my webcomic after that...;orz
I am realizing how deep meh webcomic is and I'm liking it~! X3 But I dunno if I can handle it...In dunno, I just gotta have fun with it.
So's I re-read Idolling...and I am disappointed in the writing for the 2nd and 3rd chapters. I think Sachie in my mind is a really complex character but I gave her a TERRIBLE introduction...No, like NO INTRODUCTION. I kiiinda want to redo the story but meh...It's all about how I improve each chapter...but I'm putting myself in a box here by trying to continue the story.
I would like to continue it to the end, just...shoujo manga...it is hard to draw...'cause I was never the type to doodle and I feel like that's what most of shoujo is: doodling le feels.
Look at dat.
Or maybe it's just mangaka having fun with tones...? Maybe what I am seeing is useless to the overall emotion of the story and I should just write whatever I feel like...
I downloaded some magazines so maybe those will inspire me with the cutesy little bitty bits everywhere to write Idolling more shoujo-y.
Then through conversations with my friend about love and romance and all dat jazz I decided I want to come back to a oneshot I wanted to write and decided I should split the idea into a series of oneshots based on my philosophy of love.
The temporary title I have is 'I Hate You'. The stories are based around the characters that 'don't know what it means to love' or are usually the ones that get kicked out of the plot because they just aren't interested. Why aren't the interested? And how do you know they aren't? That's what I'm going for there. I think I might work on that in my off time inbetween writing everything else...
I honestly would just like to work on manga every day no matter what and just decide which story to work on based on feels. Dunno how productive that'd be but maybe it would help me write manga faster?
I watched Love Exposure with Nissy:
Definitely one of the strangest movies I've seen. Then I realized it was the same director as Noriko's Dinner Table and I wondered WHY DO I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY WATCHING HIS MOVIES?! What draws me to watch his movies...Like my only experience with Japanese movies besides Akira Kurosawa's and the Death Note movie and Departures have been weird movies like that...
Love Exposure inspired me the most on the 'I Hate You' one shot series because it is basically my philosophy on romance. It's that it's an extreme emotion with wild bursts that inevitably ends...'course that didn't happen in the movie...Well for me love is a moment of passion when you meet somebody who you are attracted to heavily. It last for a bit and then it inevitably dies down. It's usually here that people break up. It's for that reason I have never dated anyone and have always rejected people even if I might have liked them because I know that whatever feelings I would have for them would be shortlived and I will get bored and want to go on to the next person. I think it's something much more complicated than this hence it must be written in manga form! XD
So many projects...guhh...more headaches...guhh...
Taim ta go ta beeeeeeeddddddddd!!!!!
