Super secret news part two!
Last time I talked about having an editor for my favorite magazine and entering a contest as a first step. Well, I spent 5 months trying to make it really good and trying to learn Japanese enough to talk on the phone and all that jazz.
Then I submitted it. But the file size was too big, so I had to break it into parts and submit it twice. The rules were really vague on this.
So I waited, trying not to stress, but inevitably stressing too much and having to go to the hospital (I'm bad with stress)...
The results come out the next month on the 20th so on the 20th I woke up and started working on a different manga to calm my mind. My editor said she would tell me the results of the contest before they were posted, and I'm pretty sure she forgot or something. I heard that if you placed you'd get a call from an editor about the results, but I got nothing.
So I tried to get mentally prepared for my loss. Maybe I submitted it wrong. Maybe the competition was really tough, and I'm not as good as I thought and my editor was tired of me and that's why she stopped replying.
But I couldn't concentrate on my comic at all so I put on clothes and ran to the convenience store to buy the magazine and I opened it up to the results page to see who won and burst into tears.
I wasn't first.
I was 8th. And I won the newcomer's award.
Most of the other entrants had submitted more than 2 times, and this was just my first time posting and I was 8th. Me, a foreigner, from a small town, the small reaches of the internet, who had always been told I couldn't go to Japan let alone become a manga artist, won a contest. With my favorite magazine of all time. The magazine that I had studied for years.
Not only that, but I had been told that 25 is the cut off point for most magazines, and most of them don't want artists above 25 because usually people settle down and have families etc. All the winners were above 25 except maybe 2.
Age doesn't matter. Country doesn't matter.
I have never cried so much over happy thing before. It is an inch of my dream, but a pretty big inch. I've never won a contest besides the ones on theO before.
Despite all of this, because my work is super stressful because the manager keeps making everyone feel worthless I do feel just worthless and everything is making me disappointed in myself even though I literally achieved part of my dream and was complimented by my favorite artists (mangaka for Akatsuki no Yona etc) I still feel really low.
I'm going to keep working hard on making stories that move people's hearts and will try to get first place next time. (first place winner this time had submitted 13 times! wow!)
I'm not sure if my editor will help me again the second time, or I should do it myself.
Extremely happy news!
Thank you everyone whom I've ever spoken to on this website. Your kind words pushed me through a lot of time of doubt and I never gave up on my dreams and I still haven't and I will keep going until I make a big long series that makes everyone cry.
