Clear, grey skies fell over the snow-dusted ground, over the black-clad group, over the casket being lowered into the ground. Lucien drew his cloak closer somberly, shivering. If only he were cold from the snow. But his insides were coated in ice and he could never get warm enough. Not after this.
The words of the eulogy droned on and on, with each mention of his mother's' death driving his nails further and further into his skin. It felt like eternity and yet he still wasn't ready to say goodbye. His heart sank into his stomach with the same thud of the casket reaching it's destination.
With a few sympathetic pats on the shoulder and mumbled apologizes, the group dispersed, leaving their sadness at the gates of the cemetery until only two figures remained. Lucien, and Nyx.
Without stealing a glance, Lucien knew what his twin's face must've looked like. His face would be contorted with bitterness and remorse. His deep ocean-y eyes would be sullen and gleaming with quiet rage. Like the ocean during a storm. Angry at the world for stealing his parents away. His arms would be across his chest, shielding himself from the cold and from his sorrow.
"It's your fault she's gone." His voice broke through the silence like a whip through the air. At the harshness and nerve of the words, Lucien faced his brother, eyes wide in disbelief.
"Excuse me?" Lucien could feel chills rippling through his being. His voice was calm, but inside his stomach was a collection of roaring waves.
"You let her wander off into the woods to get your stupid remedy herbs. And for what?! Her life in exchange for yours." Nyx's eyes were ablaze with anger and hurt. Lucien winced at the sting of the words and hugged himself closer.
"I didn't... I didn't kill her, Nyx." Lucien's voice cracked but her persevered, hoping to calm his brother down.
Instead, Nyx took a step back to be arm's-width apart from him. After a moment of eye-searching, Nyx closed his eyes, his hands balled into fists so tight that his knuckles were white.
"I'm going to stay with father." He spoke, his voice clear and firm. Lucien, at the sound of the words, gripped Nyx's shoulders, his breath lost at the betrayal.
"Nyx-- wha-- no-!" Lucien stammered at the thought of his father. Last time he had saw him, the man was dark and tall, looming over his twin sons. Shadowed, with only the gleam of a knife contrasting against the black. His eyes were red like the definition of menace had siphoned itself into his skin.
Before they were hurt, their mother had tackled their father to the ground and locked him outside in the blistering cold. After a night of terror, the family of three were exhausted from their demon father's attempts to break in, in which he had lost all strength after a while and failed.
It had been four years since that incident, and Lucien doubted that their father had been let go by the demon he embraced. If he were even still alive.
Nyx's back was turned to him now, his profile in view as he looked over his shoulder, "father knows the way. He can bring her back to me, Lucien. And I'll keep her far away from the pathetic likes of you."
The once-calm wind was now quietly but fiercely whipping at their faces. The hurt was evident on Lucien's face, but he was used to his brother's critical remarks.
"Please don't go to him." Lucien spoke softly, his hands sliding down his brother's shoulders to sit at his elbows, "you'll get hurt Nyx. Please don't do this."
"I can't let her go." Nyx ripped his arms away from Lucien's hold and stepped back again, "I can't... I can't keep losing people." He looked down and away from his brother, sweeping a hand through his hair before it fell back in his face.
"You haven't lost me. Doesn't that mean anything?" Lucien blinked, his gloved hands clasped together, "why do you hate me so much?" His voice broke. Tears formed on his eyelashes and slipped down his cheeks, unable to hold it in anymore.
Nyx's eyes widened before narrowing, "you're always crying, you let the ones who love you die for you. I'm not about to be another one. You're on your own." Without another word or pause, he put his focus back on leaving. He shoved his hands in his pockets and began to walk toward the gates, snow padding his footsteps.
Lucien looked towards the sky, which had settled to a shell-pink-tinted grey. The color of his lips as he had inherited from his mother. Clouds had settled in and were sprinkling snowflakes on his already snow-white skin. That of which, he had gotten from his father. These reminders would be phantoms, haunting him constantly of his losses. Burning under his skin.
And Nyx was right. It was Lucien's fault that their parents were gone. He had fallen so ill that his mother felt the need to venture in the dark woods for a cure. And his father had given his soul to a demon in order to save him from becoming a slave himself.
Even when he felt the tapping of mischief tempting him to break his own vow, he would never cast another spell of harmful intent again. And though he had grown to be a very loving and nurturing person, the mischievous kid inside him still liked to poke and prod at his self control.
The icy dust made him shiver, and he realized that it was time to go home. He sighed heavily at the gates before leaving their contents. He would be alone for a quite a while now. Alone to ponder his faults and wonder if he could ever better himself.
