Here is a story i composed for my friend, her family, and her cat, about a year ago; how ever, i appear to have made a vital error in my writings, in that micha the "everlasting" cat, is... well, was not too.. everlasting.... Please enjoy!
Micha the everlasting cat is, as the name suggests, a cat who lasts forever called Micha. The fact that she is everlasting means that Micha has been around since the dawn of time. Because of this she has had many owners, a few of which include God, Tutan Kahmoon, Julius Caesar, Queen Victoria and Elian Phipps (her current owner).
Because she has been around for such a long time, she has a Latin name: Michium Everlastingus Catium.
As well as having many owners she has also made many friends over the ages including Top Cat, Tom, Oakie, Karry, Schrödinger’s Cat, Socks (though whether that is her real name we shall never know…) and of course, The Sphinx.
Now I’m sure you are wondering how she got from Egypt to Britain. Well, back then, catamarans weren’t invented, so Micha went with the next best thing,
A cat-a-meringue. Because meringue was the latest in High-Tech cooking. Heston Blumenthal would be proud.
Anyone who has met Micha will have noticed that she has an extraordinarily flat face. This is very easily explained. I don’t know what your history teacher has taught you about the Sphinx but you should know that he has no nose. This is because it was confiscated. One day while Micha was on an afternoon stroll with old Tutie Kahmoon, Big Shinxie features stole Micha’s nose! Mr Tut was not amused and had the Sphinx’s nose taken away.
Oh, and her meeting with Schrödinger’s cat. That was…”eventful”. Although Micha is everlasting, she did...die! But it’s Ok because she was alive at the same time… don’t look now!!
Micha’s current owners have been fooled into believing that she is 15 years old. They also believe that this is old for a cat. However Micha is roughly 8 962 894 years and 242 day old. This is about average for an everlasting cat.
So that is the story of Micha. Many other events occurred during her 8 962 894 years and 242 days of mortality (or as the case may be, immortally) but to be honest, I can’t really bothered to mention them because a lot of things happen in 8 962 894 years and 242 days. And not all of it is very exciting. I hope you have enjoyed it and are not sad enough to remember it all.
By George Day.
RIP Micha you miserably faced bundle of awesomeness
