Happy? Ha! He bloomin' well wasn’t happy. He was fed up. Bored, Miserable and in rather a lot of pain; the feeling is best considered metaphorically as "a beached whale being stung by at least seven hundred and sixty nine bees." But why was he so fed up? Well, you would be in that whale’s position, you would belong in the sea where there are a lot less than 769 bees to sting you. However, that was just a metaphor, an analogy, a random thing to help you understand the feelings of our protagonist who, by the way, is called Eddie; short for Edward, objects to being abbreviated to Teddy because that is rather patronising. But, just what was it causing him such pain? It wasn’t seven hundred and sixty nine bees, but one polar bear. Confused? Me too. Why on earth was Eddy; a young lad of no more than 11, blonde hair, blue eyes, scrawny, not very tall, doing in the South Poll? This polar bear, named Frankie by the way, was confused… he looked different to what he thought polar bears should look like. “Do polar bears waddle?” “Do we have wings?”
“No,” said Eddie, “Because you are a penguin, now please stop prodding me with your “cute black nose” or mite I say BEAK!”
“Oh, sorry mate” said Frankie
Frakie had infact been standin on Eddie for around four and a half minutes, hence the brodom, and pecking Eddie's face for roughly 63% of this period of time, thus resulting in the disconfort of Eddie's face.
Just then, something terrible happened! Something so incredible, something so terrifying, something very scary…

The writer ran out of ideas, at which point Eddie and Frank started to melt away, getting brighter and brighter until the two of them, along with the whole of the South Poll, just disappeared and formed into a beautiful hanging cadence. Out of which a very large sign burst, saying “PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY BECAUSE MALLAK IS STUCK” What could that mean? O.o