Monday was a good day. I married my boyfriend, Paul (The wedding was on theO of course, not ready for the big "I do" just yet). It was so much fun. We set up all night talking to each other that night. I really do love him, may seem too soon to some, because we've only been dating a month as of tomorrow, but I do love him. So, I had a wonderful day on Monday. It was a lot of fun. He has the chat saved, maybe I will get it from him and post it on here. I didn't get to save it, because my internet started being a real idiot.
Anyways, I had an amazing day, only to be followed by two days of hell. We all know bliss comes with a price, though. Mine just comes ridiculous torrents that completely wipe me free of all energy, and leave me feeling tired and nervous. So, I'm currently feeling... jittery is the best word I can come up with to describe it. Yesterday's issues arose from my best friend continually telling me that she "missed me" and she "never saw me." The conversation started off badly, though.
Whitney: You dyed your hair.
Amanda: Yep. ^.^
Whitney: Who dyed it for you?
Amanda: I did. xD
Whitney: It looks good.
Amanda: Thank you. ^.^
Whitney: Did you really dye it yourself?
Doesn't sound like much, does it? Truth is, though, that is her way of prying to see if Audrey, my sister and mine's shared friend, was involved. With my stupid health lately, I've been in bed most of my entire summer vacation. Still managing to lose thirty pounds. Awesome achievement, don't you think? *note the sarcasm* The thing is, though, Whitney seems to think I just don't want to hang out with her. She even told me that when I was (quite literally) dragged out of the house to go to the lake with MY SISTER and Audrey that it had hurt her feelings that I never got out with her. Truth being, though, I had gotten out with her and went to town and ran around two days with her the same week. Once staying out almost all day and the next staying out for a moderate amount of time. I haven't went anywhere with Audrey and Jennifer either. It's like she doesn't want me to spend time with anyone but her. I don't understand that, and she thinks it hurts anyone's feelings... it hurts mine. She never calls me, even if my parents are a bit stingy with the phone, she doesn't even TRY. If she wanted to talk to me as bad as she claims, I'm always online for my friends to be able to contact me. If she wants to talk to me, she has a computer. She has the internet. She can get online. I suppose it works both ways, and I could call her, but when I do, all she does is talk about things that I have no interest in. I feel like me and my best friend are growing apart. Not to mention that her behavior towards me is a bit crude. I've noticed it more and more. I hadn't seen it before, but her treatment of friends... Oh well, that's enough about that.
After that conversation, I was getting ticked. Then I signed onto the chat. This is something that leads up to today's ridiculousness. I go into a room, and I set there and I chat for a while, I'm slightly upset already, but I figure, I'm a big girl, I can handle it. So, I'm talking to some other members when one certain member starts acting like a cry baby. It is common for this member to whine, and it is always annoying, but I was already in a bad mood. So, I might as well have told the girl to shut the hell up, though I didn't say it that impolitely. Still, I might as well have.
I suddenly became hungry. So, I go to get a piece of chicken left over from supper and it was all gone, and daddy was being a bit of a jerk about it. I had dyed my hair that day, and he was giving me pure torment about it. Honestly, it really hurts my feelings when he does that. "That's foolish looking. I don't know why you want to do something so stupid. Ugh..." That was what I had heard all afternoon. So, that didn't help. Followed by a bit of inconsideration. Add it all up and you end up with one moody and depressed Amanda. Finally, Paul woke up from his nap, and that calmed me down considerably, but I still felt so jumpy. Shortly afterwords, I went to bed.
The next day, only to be awoken early in the morning to come into the kitchen and help my mom paint the freaking ceiling. Nothing wakes you up in the morning like a pan of paint and a paint roller. Yea, I woke up annoyed a bit. This was followed by a small confrontation with my mother about some financial issues that she's got going on. I think I hurt her feelings. Still, I only told her the truth. She knows it's the truth too, she just doesn't want to deal with it, thought she's going to have to. -.-
So, I'm up. I read a few pages of a book. Get bored, set it down, and get onto the chat. Soji got me craving Subway. xD I want a cheddar bacon ranch sandwich on wheat with lettuce. Yum. I also have a small craving for a turkey, mayo, cheese, and lettuce on wheat sandwich. Oh well, maybe I'll get one on Friday. I'm going to go to the college with Whitney. Yes, she get's on my nerves and hurts my feelings, but I really do care about her as a friend. I don't want to ruin the friendship over something like this, so I'll let it pass. I can do that.
ANYWAYS, I ended up having a couple more confrontations today. Once when a member kept whining, and a bunch of other stuff. Then when the same person went out and started talking about me behind my back. Being a blunt person, I have no problem telling someone what I think of them or confronting them. So, I went and told them if they had something to say about me, to come to my face and I would tell them where to shove it. xD Yea, I'm mean when I get mad. One friend told me, "Make sure to remind me to never make you mad." lol. I found my nerves shot for most of the day, until my man woke up and came online and him being there made me feel so much better. His presence comforts me. Then he left and went to his orientation, which by the way he had been sick the entire morning, so I worried the entire time. I was afraid he had gotten sick and they had had to rush him to the hospital and all this stuff. Horrible thoughts tormented my mind. Then when he came back, I was instantly relieved, and comfortable, and I don't feel angry or upset anymore. I feel better. Much better.
I feel tired now, though. Getting angry makes me tired. Drains me of energy. I will survive, though. Oh well, I ate ice cream, and that makes it all better. ^_^
