I think it's time I came out about something. Something that has been bothering me for a while. I'm overwhelmed. Not just with school, with everything. Things might not be a big deal to you, but they are to me.
This past week my mommy had a mild heart attack. I'm worried about her. I'm not home with her. I'm away to college, and so, I can't be there with her. So, it's really been stressing me out. This is piled on top of my new class work load. Each and every day I have new assignments. So much work that I'm studying pretty much from the time class lets out until 1-4 in the morning. That's not the problem here today, though. None of it is.
I love talking to you all. I love listening to you all tell me what is going on in your life. I have came to a breaking point, though. Many of you come to me with you're problems, but I don't have it in me to help anymore. I want to help. I want to be able to say something to all of you that will make anything and everything better, but I can't do it any more. Trying to solve all of your problems and dealing with my own at the moment, it's too much. I want to help, but I can't handle any more. It's gotten to be much too stressful. Many of you come to me as a confidant. You tell me the things that you want me to share. Things that you don't tell others. And, there are quite a few that do this. Don't think that you're bothering me, because you're not. It's just came to a point to where I can't handle any more. The love stories, the failure, I can't deal with them anymore. A lot of you come to me with relationship problems. I give you the best advice I can, but, like I said, I've reach my breaking point. I want to help. I want to be able to give you the best advice possible, but I can't. It's too much. I can't do it anymore. I can't take on the worlds problems and my own. I'm just one woman. I don't have the strength. I'm starting to get sick again from the stress. I really can't deal with any more. It's nothing against any of you. I really do want to help. I really want to listen, but when you all come to me with your problems, you make it my problem too, and I want more than anything to help you all. I want to be able to make a difference in it for you. It's become too much, though.
So, I'm going to make a request. Those of you that come to me when something is bothering you: if something is bothering you,take a moment, and think it through. Don't rush into anything. Think about what will make you happiest. Don't discourage yourselves, and talk to someone. I may not be able to help for now, but there are others. Moirwinvail(Paul), 7thEvaChild, and others I probably don't know. I want to help. I want to help more than you could possibly imagine, but it's too much for me to deal with. It's starting to make me sick again. Stress does that. I try to take on all your problems and make things better for you all, but I can't. Only you all can make a difference in your own life. I'm sorry to everyone. I'm so so so sorry. You have no idea how hard this is for me. I want to do something for you all, but I'm not able to anymore. I'm sorry. I'm really and truly sorry. I wish I could be there for you all for everything, but I don't have the strength. I really wish I did.
