Today started out pretty good. I woke up at 8:30, my new rise and shine time and set in the living room for quite some time. I graduated yesterday, but I have still been so tired I could just pass out. I guess all the stress finally caught me. Good thing it waited until after finals. I just feel so exhausted. That horrible headache has finally went away. I suppose I was correct on the assumption that it was stress induced. If I start worrying again, they start coming back. lol. Im trying to stay as calm as possible about everything that's going on in my life. That's definately easier said than done, but it must be done.
Anyways, after setting around the living room for a couple of hours I came back into my bedroom, turned my laptop on and got on MSN. I spent about 1/3 of the day discussing depressing topics with some friends and ended up crying because I started remembering painful things. I hate remembering things sometimes. I'd rather be numb inside than feel the pain, but there is nothing I can do about it. It's more or less an akward feeling of loneliness. A feeling of complete and utter abandonment. I feel so alone at times that I wonder if there is any other existance, or just figmants of my immagination.
While talking to friends online there was a small peck on my door. My mama opened the door and brings me a small fuzzy creature wrapped in a towel. It was Yogurt, my duck. My baby had fallen into its pond and almost drown. Yes ducks swim, but Yogurt has hurt its leg.
So I hold Yogurt for a while and pet it till it goes to sleep. When it finally goes to sleep my mommy comes back for it. I then spent the rest of the evening contemplating relationships, depressed, and worried.
Most of my time was spent on MSN. The rest of the time was spent being weird as usual and talking to friends. I made my first post in The World Of Darkness, and I tried to keep track of things on Axel Alloy's forum. I'm a moderator on there. It's awesome. I think everyone should joing it. Alot of people from theO are joining it. It's a good site. For those who would like, you may join. Everyone is welcome. If you do join be sure to post an introduction in the welcome wagon, and also to read the forum rules. It's best not to breeze through them either, simply make sure you read them.
http://axelsworldofcrap.forumotion.com/forum.htm
All in all its been an okay day after I figured somethings out. Maybe I can make it through all this. Who knows? Everything that we go through is in preparation of times to come. Perhaps I an use this hell Im in now to do something.
