wow we made it to 2k15. You'd think I would make a post such as this on New Year's Day, but no. I don't think I'll be online then. Maybe cuz I;ll be lazy.
Anyway, you know how 2k14 was supposed to be the year where everything changed for the better? Well, it didn't quite work out as we all planned (from what I gather, and considering the recent events, that much is pretty clear anyway...), and now we're hoping 2015 is the lucky number.
I'm personally not looking forward to the new year. Not that I wanna stay in this year, but I'm just so nervous. I was nervous last year obvi (i don't like change all that much and a lot of changes were going on around then) but now I'm REALLY nervous. My anxiety is really high and it's not going to get better within the next few weeks, I know for fact.
Um, anyways, the olnly I can say is that I suppose I'm excited because it's a "fresh start" of some sort and I need a good bath, but that's about it. I'm worried. I can't even pin-point why I am. I just feel like shit's gonna hit the fan (ceiling, radiator, wall, and freshly shined shoes) some time. I'm having an ongoing internal struggle and I think most people would tell me to resolve it for the new year.
I hope it all goes well. I have midterms in about 3 weeks and I'm extremely unprepared. If I don't learn a pretty hard passage for orch. in the next 5 days, I'm screwed. My teacher always says, "if you can play it slowly, you can play it fast," which is not true at all. I can play something perfectly slowly... but if i bump the speed up it gets worse and worse. I practice all the time. I feel like giving up a lot but im like what's the point in that i already made it this far might as well...
Anyway... 2015 better be good or else.
P.S. that was a threat to myself :-)
