im really confused and kind of upset right now, im just not sure about lots of stuff. im really lonely, and i dont understand why because ive got all of you here on theO and all of my friends at school. but lately ive been feeling really down and stuff, it feels like depression but i duno, im only 13 im not supposed to be depressed, and my life is fine, i have two loving parents and a nice and caring little sister, and ive got all my brothers and sisters on theO, ive got all of my pets and my friends at school, i live in an actual house and not some crappy apparment anymore, and i have a whole nerd corner of computers and scaners and what not, and still i feel so alone, i dont know why, and not knowing makes me feel even more confused and alone, i feel basically like im drowning in myself or something. and im not the kind of person that can just go up to some one and spill everything like i am right now, i just put on my "poker face" and smile to make them happy(which is why I can comment like everything is fine), its like i want them to worry and care about me but i dont at the same time, and right this moment i feel like im gonna cry, cause i feel like such and idiot. im sitting here and actually texting my friend sam and she asked me whats wrong and i just said "nothing im just bored" i wish i could just tell her but i dont want to burden my loved ones, that means all of you guys who are reading this too, you dont have to care about what im writing i just need to get this out somehow and im obviously too much of a coward to tell anyone in person, GOD i feel like such a f**king moron!!! im just so stupid!!!>< im just, im really upset, and all this makes me feel like no one wants to be around me, and my loneliness, is just i really just want some one to hold me..... no one has ever loved or liked me, ive never gone out with someone before, someone actually got my attention at lunch one day and they asked me if i wanted to go out with this guy that supposedly liked me, i said no because i didnt know him and they kept pestering me about it, then the guy came and sat down and his table and they told him that i would go out with him and he spit out his drink fell off his chair and said, "ew not that ugly bitch!!!" my friends looked at my and i smiled and said that i didnt care cause i didnt even wanna go out with him, i didnt, but what he said still made me feel like a piece of shit for the rest of the day. Im such an idiot, I just feel like killing myself, but im too much of a coward im sorry if you waisted your time reading this........