I have always been questioned as to why i started drawing and doing art. My teachers at school are very frustrated by my constant scribbling in class, and always ask why i draw all the time. Back then I questioned myself alot too, People would giggle when i told them i didn't know. Truth is, I've always known why i do it but I'm to shy to explain why. I feel that if i told them it was to keep me from becoming a sad hollow little shell of a person they'd think i'd need help. It's not that i don't want help, it just feels like they are looking down on me because i have 'mental health issues'.

I have an inferiority complex that keeps me from asking for the help i really want. It buggs me when people tell me to "Stop thinking like that" Or "you're just being stupid" or especially when they say something like "You're such an emo". If i could stop feeling the things i feel i would. But i can't just stop. That's not how it works and i don't understand why people think it just magically happens like that. Also my sisters have been saying for a while, or it's more like they are teasing me about when i'm going to find a man. But thats kinda the problem because i think i like both genders.

I'm not really sure... but i guess i'll find out sooner or later. Sorry to burden you all with my shitty feelz. I really need to get real life friends and quit pouring out my heart to a computer screen. But to be honest i feel better writing these things down instead of keeping them all inside, Especially to this computer screen because it can't turn around and tell me to stop being a whiny little emo child.

Bye.