Hey, I'm Ed, or Edward, or Fullmetal Alchemist, or whatever, but you've probably already figured that out, huh? Welcome to my, uh, whatever you call this. I've got a few rules for you all,
One, DON'T CALL ME A PIPSQUEAK, A BEAN, SHORTY, OR ANY OTHER LAME SHORT JOKES YOU CAN COME UP WITH! I AM NOT SHORT!
Two, if you ever, EVER try feeding me milk, I'll transmute you into a fish and then eat you! And I know Al, it's against the rules, but so is giving me milk!
Anyway, most women think I'm irresistably charming, so go ahead and talk to me, I don't bite... much that is. Oh yeah, and if you have any information about the philosopher's stone, you WILL tell me.
Well, see ya!