~Beadsville~

Orihime no baka ._.

Sigh. I really hoped Orihime would go Super Sayian after snapping over Ichigo dying and churn out some kick ass power show. But noooooooo. She just started crying and calling out for him to come back to life and save everyone. As always.

And they killed off Ulqiuorra!!!! No fair! Man, Orihime really is useless. And now we won't have him around to psyche her over it :-/

Kinda makes me wary about getting caught up on Naruto again. I can't take another phail chick. But then again, the martyr in me always win. Either way, I'll have to make my way over to Crunchyroll for updates on both shows (Bleach 274-> and Naruto 181 ->). There should be enough episodes now for me to spend some serious time on!

PS: Life has my chest congested and heart racing as I fight anxiety/panic attacks, with little support to draw on [in terms of people in my immediate surrounding]. Dad's no good with empathy (in fact he managed to make things worse when I called him at work a couple of days ago, urgently needing some back-up), mom's busy getting her driver's license/working. Sisters are located elsewhere/busy with their lives and I don't have the strength to visit them.

It's kinda hard convincing myself it's worth this hellish ordeal in order to "get my life in order". B-o-o h-o-o.

Love you guys loads! ♥

Worried

I'm worried 'bout Liam :3 Hopefully he's safe and well.

Should'a, could'a, didn' >.>

I'm alive, still. My room is clean but somehow I haven't been able to post here. Huh. (Should be the other way around >.>)

Maybe now that I've started I could turn this into some kind of update? :O Let's see what happens..... *is distracted by chocolate on desk* .....

Dad has been home for a while now and is healing up nicely. As far as we know. He's back at work, too. I'm pestering him about seeing a physiotherapist and maybe getting another x-ray just to make sure everything's as it should. He agrees but who knows when he'll actually get 'round to it -.-

It was also really crazy the week he was discharged. Mom 'burned out', eldest sister returned from NY* and I got this horrible cold that absolutely exploded while mom was 2 hours away (at grandma's memorial thing), rendering what little life I had in me into the negatives. (Poor mom and Eleine got scared senseless when they arrived home that evening and found me in the state I was in :x)

* She was organizing her move to Gothenburg around the same time, as well, with all the stress and chaos that entails + trying to catch up with people before she left + helping us out.

This, along with everything else, has affected my sleeping and as it stands right now I'm struggling to even nap during the day :/

Now. This is going to sound crude and I apologize for writing it, but as I told mom recently: It's a good thing I'm not suicidal because I'm actually way beyond my wit's end. So yeah. Psyche is pretty traumatized/handicapped by recent events and I'll have random bouts of wanting to cry my eyes out for no particular reason/I'm feeling very frail.

But life goes on and stuff. Thankfully I've had Facebook games to distract my crippled mind with, though it's gotten harder to focus on them too lately. Moo :/ I did manage to tidy up my room this week, over the course of a couple o' days. So it's not like it's totally pitch black, hehe.

Positive notes!:

Eleine got me these animal-shaped markers (shark, dolphin, penguin, clown fish) in NY that make sounds when you put the heads back on. My favourite is the shark, which makes a "chomp chomp chomp" sound >:)

I've seen "How to train your dragon". Several times. Younger sister bought it and brought it with her when she came to visit a month or so back. She was gracious enough to lend it to me until I've procured my own copy :3

My room is tidy!

I have chocolate!

Oodles of love to each and every one of you! Stay alive, please. I intend to :)

warble

Update on dad: 4 broken ribs, damage to some of the vertebrae, 3 stitches in the head. Today he got to eat and use the bathroom so it's looking good so far.

Myself: badly bruised and extremely sore from tumble down stairs. Sleep deprived beyond comprehension.

The younger and elder sister came earlier today and are spending the night. I feel really sorry for the sister who's in New York, whom mom was talking to on the phone when the accident actually happened, but I'm sure her friends are taking good care of her.

Just when you thought you couldn't wear any thinner your skin gets another thorough scraping.

Love to you all. From me and the Family <3

�¤snigk�¤ng

dad fell from the roof and hit the ladder and crashed onto the porch. ambulance came and took him to hospital. mom with him. he hit his head, bled. pain probably from broken or cracked ribs. just got x-rayed. mom will call back.

edit: heard when he fell. thought it was the snow falling off the roof. heard mom run down the stairs and then heard him howling, screaming.