So, My life is pretty ... chaotic ... atm.
But through all that I have found good things.
Alex and I saw a cardinal today. In the winter. After hearing the news.
I'm going to take that as a sign. A good one. One of strength.
Also, when I went out to an ice cream parlor, i found notes in a drawer at the table. they said things like "from one human being to another, you have so much value, don't waste it. Make your life the best it can be. Don't dwell on trivial things or what others say. -a stranger" and other corny stuff like that.
It made me smile. It made me stronger, if only a little.
And then there was my fortune, from chinese.
"The past is the profit for the future"
I have yet to decipher that, but i think it's important.
...
Be strong all, these are troubling times.
~HV
School.
My school is closing after this year. Yes, It's sad, I know.
The worst part?
I'm a junior.
The other worst part?
most of my friends are considering leaving soon(or more so, their parents want them to leave). I however am not. That school is my home. I'm staying. I wish I could be there for the rest of my high school life, but I cant. Shit happens. You move on, you live, but you never forget.
My experiences there have been priceless, in more ways than I ever thought.
Please don't tell me you're sorry, because it doesn't help me. Say a prayer, if your religious, write a note and tie it to a balloon and let it loose for me. Who knows, maybe the bishop will change the decision.
The real reason I don't want you to to say sorry is because, quite honestly, I'm not sorry. I'm proud to have been a student there. I regret not getting a yearbook or a ring. I regret everything I didn't NOT do. I'm sad, I'm upset, I'm worried and anxious but I'm not sorry.
Most of you will never go through this. I hope you never will. It hurts. It really hurts. as I said that place was my home. And if you do know how this feels, then my heart goes out to you and I can empathize. Yes, it's fine to be upset. But it's not right for me to pity myself or my friends.
That is why I will make the rest of this year the greatest year of my life. It will NOT go to waste.
I love my school. My teachers. My friends.
But most of all, I love my family.
And it breaks my heart to see that family torn apart. It does.
Not to mention the people from my grade school I've been with for TWELVE YEARS. Twelve years of my life. That's almost all of it. And those people, though I may not like them, have made an imprint on me that can never be removed. I love them. And I hope that in some sort of way, they love me too.
So to all my friends from Grace, I think leaving you will be an extra kick in the face. And to those I've become close to here at CEC, I love you more than the world. Please, don't think I'm exaggerating. It's the truth.
Alex, Erin, Megan, Karolina, Rachel.
I love you, all of you. I swear I won't lose you to this.
Kim, oh Kim. I really thought we'd be together until the end. It seems that one for this last year, that will change. Maybe we'll meet up again in college. But now I fear more than ever that you and I will become the "past."
I love you too, you know.
And to all my friends who've read this who may not know me IRL, who don't go to my school, who don't have to deal with this strange pain, I love you too. Thank you for reading this. It's one of the most important moments of my life.
Please, be thankful for what you have and never hold back.
~HV
QUESTIONS QUESTIONS SO MANY QUESTIONS (you want a shard?)
HEY! IM WAITING FOR AN ANSWER OVER HERE!
um so yeah. I had meaningful stuff to say, and then I got lazy XP
working on a CF post now, and a fanfic for pippi
~HV
voice meme....dont do those when your pep-less and sick
ask me questions for a voice meme, if you feel so inclined.
voice meme, hit me with some questions
