TUESDAY: after work, it was hot, so i got some ice cream. but when haylie saw it she wanted some to. so on her diner plate, i put some yougurt on her plate, told her it was ice cream, and she gobled it right up. last time she visited, on her last night, when she was playing in the tub, i joined her. i did again that night to. we had lots of fun with her plastic butterflies.
WEDNESDAY: after class, i was going to swim, but the water was freezing. the sign said it was 79. felt more like 60. i think i'm going to play raquetball for a while instead. i'mkinda burned out on swimming.
THURSDAY: we had to mow. mom made me do her part, and some of ryans. ryan is perfectly capable of mowing. but we can't have her precious baby overworking himself, now can we. it made me so mad. so when i finished and went inside to shower and get ready for class, it broght back a lot of hurtful memories. i wanted to cry, but if mom saw that i had, she'd probably yell at me, or laugh and tease me.
had to take a test in class, which was very hard, and took longer that i though it would. mom and ryan were waiting for me, cause as soon as i got home, we were going to head out to take haylie back. and mom yelled at me. i tried to explain that it was a hard test, but she didn't care.
she dropped ryan and i off and my dad's parents place. it's a really really really old farmhouse, on top of a small hill, a bit aways from town. i love it. there, i feel at home, and at peace. you know the feeling you have about hotels. that they just aren't home, but a pitstop when you're traveling. that's what my house feels like. but in the farmhouse, i am happy. and i can sleep. i struggle so much with my nocturnal-ness. i tell others how hard it is for me to sleep at night, and how i'm more nocturnal, but most don't belive me, and think i'm exagerating. no seems to be able to see just how much i really struggle.
FRIDAY: papa dropped us off at mom's parent's place on his way to work. her house is horrible. i love her, but i can not sleep there. i am awake most of the night, and what little sleep i do get is full of nightmares. but we waited for mom to show up, went to Maid Right for lunch, then went out to the vets home to see my great grandma. while i was waiting for her, i went in the gift shop, and bought a pair of mocassins that are blue and grey to use as slippers for around the house.
we managed to convince my grandma to come back with us for a week, so we had to let her back, and now we are back. mindy is so glad i'm back. she's snuggled up next to me. i love her so much.
after mom dropped ryan and i off at the farmhouse, she went to drop haylie back with her parents. brittany and the dad(boyfriend not husband) josh. she says the place is a dirty pit. and that brittany was all upset because of josh. she walked right past haylie and ignored her, which made haylie all sad. josh is such a loser. he refuses to get a job to support his kids. and brittany can't because josh refuses to watch his kids. brittany needs to dump him. i don't think i would've been able to give haylie back. i would've scooped her back up, and her brother, and told brittany to dump the loser, and get her life straightened out. then i'd give them back. they should be here, in a clean home, with loving people, where they are happy and don't have to hear adults screaming at each other. i would totally share my room with haylie. gey a bunk bed. i love her so much. she seems more like a little sister than a cousin. i miss her, and i feel so bad that i can't help and protect her.
