-while looking through a weapon magazine that we get in the mail every month-

Brother: Ah, it's a mini-club with a 500,000 volt charge
Me: That's a bit...excessive, don't you think?
Brother: Well if you had somebody attacking you, wouldn't you want it to have 500,000 volts?
Me: Ooo! What if it was a SPIKED electric club?
Brother: Yeah...that's kinda an offensive weapon...
Me: I can see it now: "I swear judge, it was self-defense!"
Brother: Bulls***!