Mood: pretty low
Hey friendos, I'm gonna post an annoying complain-y post about tumblr and fan art. Sorry about that. ;o;/
Idk if you've noticed but I've been trying to draw more fan art lately because that's usually the only stuff that I post to tumblr that gets any notes. :T To be honest, I generally don't enjoy drawing fan art. It's not that I don't like shows and stuff, but I find characters from shows/games/etc to be really difficult to draw because they're not my designs. I also get really paranoid that I draw them out of character since I don't understand characters from shows/etc the same way that I understand and connect with my OCs.
BUT MORE THAN THAT, I don't like drawing fan art because it IT STRESSES ME OUT...!!! I get so so anxious worrying about whether or not things will get likes and reblogs when I post fan art. ""orz LIKE, I'M NOT KIDDING.... I have trouble falling asleep at night after posting fan art (even if it's just a sketch or doodle) because I get really anxious about whether or not people will reblog it or even see it, and I feel like I wasted my time if it doesn't get any notes. I don't get the same kind of anxiety drawing original stuff because I know the only exposure it's going to get is to my followers. Plus it doesn't feel like a waste because HEY, MORE CONTENT OF MY OCS!!! nice. I love my OCs. But I don't love drawing fan art hghglshg
I'M TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE... LATELY I HAVEN'T BEEN GETTING ANY NOTES AT ALL ON FAN ART and it's stressing me out so bad!!!!! TT_TT I don't know if it's just that everyone went back to school and abandoned their fandom side blogs or something, but I'm getting almost no notes at all on things that used to be able to get at least 30 notes.... I'm mostly talking about my Mob Psycho 100 fan art here. Back in October-ish when I started posting mp100 stuff, I used to be able to get like 100+ notes on even a small doodle. I guess it's because the anime had just finished airing in September at the time, so things were pretty active... and now that it's several months later things have slowed down...??? BUT EVEN THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, some stuff I posted in late-December got a lot of notes and that wasn't even that long ago... it's just super bizarre to me that I went from getting a fair amount of notes to getting less than 10 notes even on things I actually put effort into. ""orz None of the popular side blogs that used to reblog my stuff are even liking my pictures anymore. I HATE THIS SYSTEM OF GATEKEEPING OR WHATEVER NONSENSE TERMINOLOGY PEOPLE USE FOR IT.
A similar thing happened w/ me posting Yuri!!! on Ice stuff, but I kind of expected not to get a lot of notes for YOI since the fandom's so big and the tag is so active. BUT I STILL GET SUPER DEPRESSED WHEN MY YOI STUFF DOESN'T GET NOTES why am I ridiculous!!!! I hate being this stressed about my fan art, but I seriously can't help it no matter how much I try to stop thinking about it. """"""""orz
THIS LACK-OF-NOTES-AND-REBLOGS THING IS ALSO JUST TERRIBLE TIMING AND I'M SO FRUSTRATED!!!! T_T I finally started trying to discretely advertise my shop and commissions on my fan art posts (I'd been neglecting to advertise because I didn't want to be obnoxious), but now my fan art is getting like zero exposure at all!!! IT SUCKS GHLGUGHALSGHAKG
but yeah, that's my blab about frustrating and annoying things. i'm so sad w/ fan art ughhgglhldhg. I'll probably try to only post fan art on the weekends so I can focus a little better. ;o;
btw you don't need to comment on this if you don't want to, I just really needed to vent somewhere about this. """"orz I hate venting and I almost never get to a point where I need to vent, but APPARENTLY!!! I just hate drawing fan art this much, hahaha;;; -u-;; but seriously, this is really frustrating me. orz This is also in addition to the fact that the con I was trying to apply for in the previous post is apparently super sketchy, so I won't be attending it anymore... BUGH I just want to table at some cons!!!! I NEED TO GET RID OF MERCH!!!!! PLEASE..........
