This world is so full of pain, and unanswered questions, and here, your host Amaris will hlep idenitfy these questions, and with your help, decipher these hard, complicated little arguments! ^^
Enjoy, and be welcome to sit at the table,a nd have a cup of tea!

Oh come on!

Saw Katy Perry's new video while I was waiting to watch 'From Gs to Gentleman', with my Mum, and COR! TALK ABOUT GETTING THE BOYS HOT AND BOTHERED! What a way to make a splash! I find the lyrics rather bland, more bland than the song. AS my Mum said, 'She probably wrote those lyrics all by herself'. She has been compared with Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen. I don't know how familiar you are with them, but Winehouse, came actually be called a Wino, she takes drugs and has a bad fiance, and the latter is a gobby little rich girl who sings like she's muck when she's middle-class, who went to private school. Not so good.
Now, the lyrics:

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Erm... WEll, so brilliant, aren't they?
And the video, in a paradise of females.

Sorry, I just hated it!

Fight for the right

I am not saying that for one second that you should do the same. I am speaking from personal experience though, and what we are told by society.

I'm not a fist-fighter, never fought someone like that in my life, but if there is one grey area worth fighting for, it's love.

Unlike many, I do not believe that you should fight for the person you love if they are with someone else. This may mean that you are pushed to the side, then that is an unfair, and sad fact, but I do not believe that it is worth it. I am not cruelly slandering the person who said it to me, who was the person I liked, but the fact is, the internet is a different domain when it comes to affairs of the heart, than face-to-face relationships, and I shall proudly say this out loud!
If that person is to truly be with you, then it'll happen, and that does not mean sending hate-mail to the girl who he is going out with, because that makes you less attractive!
It may hurt, but time is a strange entity when it comes to peoples' feelings!

For me, as ever, it was not the fact that he could not make up his mind, oh no, it's that the person in question led me up the garden path to his relationship status in the first place, and making it seem like I'm side orders, not the main meal, if you know what I mean!
I'm not having that, and why should I at the end of the day as a self-respecting, independent young women, which he hailed in the first place! He cannot blame me for not fighting for him, because that is just tooting your own horn there my lad! If he was worth fighting for, then I wouldn't have found my self backing off, and he would have just told me in the first place, and that is the right justification! You don't string me along! It's unfair on you and me, because I'll get you when I find out; and maybe that's part of 'the fun' when being young and your serial relationships, but it's not all fun and games for the victims is it?
I'm just saying it like it is, because that is a serious error!

Now, I've 'forgiven' but it was a messy business because he was so lapse, that he didn't know that I knew. The bliss of fraudulent males who can't even lie well, I assume. :D
Good day!

Still frustrating

Despite all the systematic improvements on this site of TheO, I still find myself drawn to MyO.
Please do not ask my why- maybe it's my pristine attitude of being a creature of habit, but it's still annoying in the way that I cannot navigate easily!
I made two worlds, my blog, and my musings- this site, but it still vexes me as a site!
I have one subscriber, and that was back in the times where it was impossible for one to even attempt at adding someone as a friend. The posting capabilities are also stuffy, you can only do one of this, you, I think, cannot use HTML, and I hate this all. There is really no possiblilty for you to continue at contacting new people, and as the others have died away (I used to have a fruitfully healthy PM life, and now I have not had one from my main person since 21st May.) there is not even any new blood to get a hold of.
There used to be a great joy and spirit towards the life of MyO, but now there is meagre pickings, for the people, like I, who have stuck MyO out. It is stagnant.

I know that this is just a great fact complaint, but this is a fact, and there is seldom any info to really go on, as to what is happening to the stagnant mess that has been left behind- the moves to possibly update the site, and paying for it, seems to forget the fact that there is a mess which stills needs to be cleaned which is MyO. I still do not understand if this is supposed to be a replacement or not, but if so, the cards were played disgustingly, as I, myself am I daily partaker of this site, and I never really understood because it was so poorly put across! The people who I had healthy relationships with, are but memories with their names an echo of what was, and this just amounts to my frustration towards all this.
I but reluctantly go onto this site, no, let me correct myself, to MyO, and it was painful when there was a separation in PMs, and I had to slavingly, drag myself to this site, for the fact that I wanted to retain conversations, though the aesthetics weren't to my taste.
The mass exodus of users is what alerts me the most to the distaste of this situation though.

Oh, the games begin

1. People and their relationships are messed up
2. Old habits die hard

I am writing this because people are people are people, and they will use every trick in the book in order to keep up appearances and cling to what they see as desirable, tangible and real or not.
Now, I'm not naming names because that is not my style, but I treat everyone like they are telling the truth, and if they are not, and I am going to ask why.
Now, I shall say that if a secret is to be hidden, DO NOT BE SLOPPY! I have found out discrepencies, and played detective, and admiration will not be the buffer for such actions!
I was lied to when I was messed up- mentally in a whir, and a girl whispered her words in my ears, we talked, and for me, the situation was kind of resolved. Now, she said she was totally against it, but what does she do? She clings to the thing that 'she draws strength from' according to my deductions. That's just being two-faced!
Now, from the other perspective of the other party, I understand because he is somewhat of a coward and would never tell her to piss off because she needs the support, but at the same time... there is looking after yourself. She seems like a manipulator, saying 'Jealousy in the air' when you're the one who is knowingly second-best and has harassed the guy for a couple of years.
However, maybe she is not strong enough to care for herself enough to admit, or incinerate the image that she has painted before her and is re-inforced by him. I understand how easily it can happen, but at the same time, it's really sad. *sighs*
And I fit in there somewhere, kind of clueless, but because I had to be detective, I don't like not being told.

The ever- faithful lustre of child abuse

For me, it makes me want to puke. If I see scenes of this, I get a lump in my throat and want to cry.
This is a reaction that I cannot control and have never understood.
Is it empathy, or for reasons more obvious? The thought now makes me shiver...

I have been brain-washed by my father to second-guess myself and never believe myself; I shan't go into details, but sometimes I would spend hours with him telling me how useless I was. When I mean hours, I mean the loveliness of 3 hours as an 8 year-old.
I do not know if these memories are true or figments of my imagination- I've been told they are from a young age.