I can not believe how many times I have dropped hobbies of mine. It's so easy to loose sight of what you like and replace it with something new. For example, I used to play the piano, I used to draw a lot and I used to be active in online communities. All have fallen away. All have repeatedly come back. The urge to do something you loved with all your heart still remains alive and beating. However these moments never last very long. Yes I've drawn for a couple of weeks straight. Yes I've played the piano and yes I'm active in online communities again. Yet it never stays. At least until now.
I wonder why it's so difficult to stick to activities. Is it simply because we don't like it as much as we think we do? Is it because other activities have a bigger priority? Or is it because we have an attitude 'I used to be good, I have to uphold my vision of it and if I try I might fail'. I've tried many times to stick to the activities and to reclaim what was lost.
At the moment I believe I am succeeding in giving life to old hobbies. I am active right now. I did draw for a time and I continue to think about it. Two weeks ago I even bought a digital piano (seriously!). I've always been drawn to music. I love it. But it's scaring the shit out of me to try and play music. Same with my voice. I'd love to sing but I'm frightened I won't enjoy it as much or feel ashamed of my level of skill. I hate not doing what I love because "I'm scared". Therefore I find it extremely important to try it out. To JUST DO IT.
It takes practice to do something when you feel uncomfortable doing it. I wish I could feel comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. It would be a great skill and you can apply it to almost any corner of your life. They always say 'practice and your skill shall improve'. I intend to do so and it's one of the reasons why I started the 500 word challenge.
Challenging yourself to step outside of your comfort zone will lead to growth. I expect that I will find obstacles, some will be easily overcome, others may be permanent. It could happen that I actually discover I just find other things more important than art. Only by trying will I found out what I truly want.
I feel like I'm starting on a journey. I'm finally able to step up and do the things I've always yearned to do. In the past I was always afraid disappointing myself. The problem with that is also that I expect too much of myself - the goals I set are unrealistic. I am grateful for the difficult times I've gone through, so that now I may truly live the life I want to.
Science states that people who have a growth mindset will accomplish much more than people who have a mindset that focuses on immediate results (like grades in highschool). I wish our culture would come to respect the process more than the result. I'm just one individual, but I shall do my best to change my own mindset and to support others on their own journey, accepting fully who they are.
Word Count: 568
Reflection: whoop I barely edited it <3
