I don't cry. Ever.
That's what I tell people. Nobody--that's nobody, ya hear?--has ever seen me cry. Everyone's seen me fake cry. Except Kankuro, he was the one I went to when my sister...did what she did. I'll explain.
"Mom! Mom!"
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I kept pinching myself, over and over, just so I would wake up from this horrible, crazy dream and Mom could hold me and tell me it was just a dream.
But it wasn't. My mother, Arisa Hamikiche, was lying in a pool of blood, with huge, gaping wounds all over her body. Toya, my older sister, was standing above her looking angry, guilty, sick, and proud all at once. Yuki and Yamazaki,my older brothers, had heard the commotion and came running.
"Oh my God," was what I think I heard Yamazaki say. I was so angry and disbelieving and broken I couldn't hear anything. I think I heard Dad yelling at Toya to get out, but I couldn't think straight. I was crying and screaming and Yuki was trying to console me. I heard myself screaming at him and Toya and the world and I felt myself run out the door.
After I had left, I think I heard Dad yelling for me to come back, but of course I didn't. I just ran and ran until I reached Kankuro's house. I pounded on the door until he answered. I just fell onto him, sort of, and I just started bawling.
"Lotus," he began, "what's wrong? Did somebody hurt you?"
I shook my head no. "It's my mom," I sobbed. And out came that whole terrible story.
And he let me cry and cry and get his shirt all wet and he reassured me that I'd be all right even though we both knew I wouldn't.
That was six years ago. I'm eighteen now. I've mostly put it behind me, but I miss her. So much.
My father was hosting his annual Christmas party. I had just caught Neji, my boyfriend of three years making out with one of my friends. I was willing myself not to cry. I had done enough of that.
"Hey," I heard a male voice say behind me. Jacki, this guy who had been after me for years, was talking. "I heard about Neji. Sorry."
"Oh. Um, it's..." I felt my eyes blur up. "...not okay at all."
He wrapped his arms around me. I hadn't felt this loved and secure since the day Mom died and I went to Kankuro.
"Lotus," he told me. "It's okay to cry."
And I did.
