Is Seeing Believing? World Famous! Open Rain or Shine!

Hey there! I'm Stanford Pines. I'm the owner of this here shack full of other worldly, and bizarre things. Its open every single day, can you believe it? That's because I want to let you, the tourist, see everything you'd never thought was real. Make sure to bring your wallets, because you'll want to buy all the merchandise at the end of the tour to remember the great time you had here, at the Mystery Shack!

We have things such as:
A rock that looks like a face! Its not a face, though. Just a rock that looks like one.
A jackalope!
A Six-Pack-alope! It must've been, like, the jackalope's father or something. Who knows.
A horse riding another horse! Its so unnatural! You'll have to come if you wanna see this one though. Heh.
Miscellaneous items!

And more! Not only do we have mysterious creatures, but we also, as I stated before, have merchandise!
Oh, and don't forget to bring plenty of pennies for the penny press!

So come on down to the Mystery Shack, with loads of cash. You'll have a great time.

Err

So this is the "World Wide Web"?

Dipper and Mable are still trying to teach me how this thing works. This thing with letters, if you press 'em, the letters appear on the screen. How neat is that? Technology sure baffles me.

But what is this for? You know, other than for a free advertisement for my money machine. What do you do on here?

Soos, I'm busy here!

Will it say that outloud? No? Oh. How do you use the eraser?

Wait do people read while you type? Or at all?

Why am I asking a machine all my questions? I guess I should go get those youngsters to help me out. This is actually sorta tough.