As Jasper had said, I spent ten minutes gathering my thoughts and sorting out my mind. And then I came to a sudden resolution, and put my plan quickly into action. I was only halfway down the stairs when Alice sprinted over. “You can’t,” she spluttered. I shrugged. It had briefly slipped my mind that Alice would know my decision as soon as I did, but that couldn’t affect anything. “You’re making Edward miserable,” she said in a voice almost inaudible. I looked directly at her and truthfully said, “I’ll hurt him more if I stay. I’m sorry for everything, Alice. I’ve come to love you like a sister and I’ll miss you an intense amount, but you have to move to Forks without me.” She began to protest, but the others had overheard and instantly converged on me.
Everyone was fussing over me but Jasper and Edward, who sat on opposite sides of the room with matching expressions of gloom. “I have to,” I kept repeating, “I have to let you move on to Forks without me. I’ll stay here in Alaska; maybe I’ll stay in this house for a while.” Esme, especially, was severely opposed to my plan, but I refused to be swayed. All three of the girls were making sobbing noises but I still insisted on leaving and finally managed to force my way out of the front door. I sprinted away and only stopped when I was certain I had travelled at least thirty miles away.
In a secluded spot I dropped my bag and bent at the waist, gripping onto my ribs and fighting back my own sobs. It was only a few moments before I was joined. Gentle fingers prised my hands off my ribcage and pulled me into a fierce hug while I let myself cry at Jasper all over again. “Don’t go,” he chanted, “don’t go, don’t go, please don’t go.” I felt him trembling around me but stumbled backwards. “I have to,” I sobbed, “I can’t be around you and watch you love Alice. I thought I could, but I can’t. I love you too much to stay near you and not love you, but not enough to enjoy your happiness in loving someone else. I love you, Jasper. I love you.” His eyes were unusually dark today and they searched over me repeatedly. “I love you, too. Stay with me. Mia, please, stay near me. I love you and I can’t lose you.” I shook my head sadly. “Don’t say that, Jasper. You’re in love with Alice and we both know that, so don’t lie just to placate me. I love you and you don’t love me and I have to leave.” I was still crying but my words were just about understandable.
“Mia, I love you.” I longed to believe his words, but that was a luxury I couldn’t afford. If I accepted that then I would have to either leave the first man I truly loved knowing that he loved me too, or break up his stable marriage. “I’m a part of you,” Jasper insisted, putting his hands on my shoulders, “I bit you; my venom is inside your veins. I’m a part of you and I love you and I don’t want you to go.” I took a deep, rattling breath. “Stop saying that! You don’t love me. You. Love. Alice. So go back home and be in love with her,” I ordered. Jasper shook his head, but it was in defeat. He knew he had lost. “Edward said goodbye,” he told me, “But I refuse to let this be our last meeting. I love you, Mia, and I will see you again.” I watched him leave until he started to run and his silhouette blurred and disappeared before sinking to the ground and burying my head in my hands miserably.
Epilogue
Mia,
I hope you’re doing okay. Things are weird without you. It was so difficult for everyone at first; every time your name came up everybody would react oddly. Edward left the room, Rosalie and Esme started to cry, Carlisle would go silent, Emmett dropped whatever he was holding and I just went all numb. But strangest of all was Jasper. He just seemed to harden: his face would set and he would freeze for ages. Now everyone tries to prevent the topic before it comes up. But I know everyone misses you still. We always will.
Forks is nice, if a little dull. It rains most days, so we can go out in the day all the time here. We’ve started at high school again and of course nobody likes us much, but Edward has a lot of admirers. Everyone’s scared of Emmett, obviously, but they’re intimidated by the rest of us, too. We have our old house back and we love it, Esme especially. It’s light and airy and open. And the forest is nearby, which is great for hunting.
I thought I should tell you that Edward is just starting to get over you. He was truly in love with you, but now he’s moved on. Actually, he has a new girlfriend – well, almost. I know they’ll be together forever, assuming you don’t come back. She’s called Bella and she’s a human, but I can see her becoming one of us soon. Again that’s only if you don’t come back to us.
Jasper hasn’t dealt with you leaving yet, though. I know you two were really close and I understood it, but he seems distant now. He’s always been on the outside of the family a little, but it’s changed. Now he seems to be making an effort to isolate himself. If you were to come back, maybe he would get better.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve only really written so that you’ll come back to us. I hope that if you read about us then the nostalgia will make you miss us and you’ll come back. Please, Mia, please come back. We can’t stand it without you.
Alice.
I perched in a tree and read the letter, shaking with suppressed sobs. My trembling fingers traced Jasper’s name repetitively and the guilt overwhelmed me. I had chosen a particular tree in the Hoh forest and I could see all the way to the big white house on Forks’ outskirts. I peered through the windows and found Jasper in his bedroom. For a moment he looked at me and our eyes – and souls – connected for the final time.
