I wandered inside while Edward held the door open. The flat inside was airy and open; one wall was made up mostly of windows and the walls were white. My footsteps clattered uncomfortably on laminate floors as I looked around a minimalistic apartment. “There’s nothing and nobody here,” I said quietly, “What was I? I didn’t even have a pet, and yet now I can’t stand to be alone…” Edward watched me silently as I looked around, feeling as though I was nosing around a stranger’s life. I poked through the kitchen, finding designer pots and pans; it was carefully styled with fashionable units and stylised photographs. My bedroom was a different story – it was filled with stuff, from tottering piles of books to masses of clothes.

Feeling mildly dazed, I ambled back to Edward. He slipped his hand into mine and stared at me in concern. “Are you feeling okay?” I nodded before shaking my head and finally shrugging. “It’s all a bit disorientating,” I mumbled, “I keep getting quick little glimpses of my old life, but nothing definite. I loved to cook, but I wasn’t particularly good at it. I used to wear all sorts of different clothes and refused to throw anything out. And apparently I read an unbelievable amount of books.” Edward motioned towards a small table by my purple fabric sofa. “I hope you don’t mind, but that photograph caught my eye. Apparently you were deeply in love.” I shook my head and walked over to the photo he showed me.

A silver border framed a black and white photo of a softer version of me with my arms around a man. I could see that for a human he was gorgeous, but now that I was permanently surrounded by immortals, he was fairly nondescript. What surprised me most was the large ring on my left hand ring finger. An immaculately cut diamond winked inconspicuously out of the picture. “Woah,” I said, rather inadequately. Edward rubbed my shoulder. “He was called Kieron,” I recalled, “We were engaged after knowing each other for a year. I thought I was too young to get married, but it made him happy. I was getting ready to move out of here to live in the house we bought together. Three bedrooms, three baths, and the most amazing kitchen you have ever seen, complete with chrome gadgets and an exposed brick wall.” I sighed. “Would you like to go and see him?” Edward offered, but I shook my head. “No. There would be no benefit in doing that. It would just upset me; I’d want to talk to him. Besides…now, looking back…I don’t think I ever truly loved him.”

We stood in a contemplative silence for a while until Edward inhaled sharply. “Landlord’s dreaming about you,” he explained, watching the guy’s thoughts for a while as his expression grew constantly more disgusted. “That scum,” he growled, moving as though he was about to leave the flat. I put a restraining hand on his forearm to hold him back as a low, rumbling roar tore out of his chest. “What,” I asked urgently, “What’s the matter?” He looked at me with narrowed eyes and hissed, “It’s that landlord. He’s scum.” I stared at him confusedly until he carried on explaining. “He was very attracted to you, let’s say. He was jealous of your boyfriend, so he would hit on you every so often. But that night he got very drunk and cornered you on your way home. He forced you down the alleyway and tried to have sex with you. You refused, so he tried to force himself on you, but you stopped him. As you ran away, he shot you. And that’s why you had to be changed into a vampire. No wonder he was so surprised to see you…” I blinked blankly as his chest rumbled again. As it slowly dawned on me, I felt nauseated. Flashes of the event ran through my head and Edward watched them with me when I started to clutch at him helplessly.

“I want to be sick,” I gasped. Edward just held me tighter as he informed me, “You can’t throw up.” I nodded and tried to pull myself together, pulling in deep breaths of air despite the pointlessness of the action. “Let’s go,” I pleaded, “I want to leave now, please.” Edward nodded and we left the flat, taking a stack of my books with us. I was about to start running when I glimpsed the alleyway opening again. “Hang on,” I murmured, walking closer. Edward listened as I thought, ‘If I remembered that other stuff then maybe I’ll remember this now’, and agreed. Silently I wandered closer to the almost nonexistent pool of blood and lay down nearby, closing my eyes. “He rolled me onto my front to see if I would live,” I said, not to anybody in particular. “Then he figured I would die, and just left me. It was raining. I was waiting to die when Jasper found me. He bit me here and then ran me back to your home. The pain was so excruciating…” I opened my eyes to see Edward peering down. “Is that right?” He nodded, and I pulled myself to my feet. “Okay. We can go now,” I said, letting Edward lead the way again as we sprinted back home.

Just outside the house, Edward stopped me. “Why do you like Jasper so much?” he demanded. “I don’t want to pry, so I won’t read your thoughts, but I want to know.” I scuffed my shoe across the pavement and adjusted my bag strap, finally feeling the weight of my books. “Mostly because…well, I think it’s because he kind of associates with me. We both feel sort of like outsiders, so he’s been working really hard to make me fit in. And obviously he’s the one who saved me, so I guess that helps.” Edward shook his head. “But you didn’t know that until just a few hours ago.” I shrugged uselessly. “It’s one of those subconscious things, you know?” He sighed and opened the front door. “Fine. But I won’t give up – just so you’re aware.” I stared after him for a minute, dumbfounded, and then hurried inside, right into another one of Esme’s cursory hugs.