I blinked back the tears and walked over to the man. Me and Charlotte had been so close for so long, if she knew someone, so did I. I had no recollection of this man. I stood before him as he buttoned his shirt back up and slapped him as hard as I could across the cheek. Rikku gasped in shock as the man was flung off the sofa by the force and landed on the coffee table, breaking it, crumbling to the floor. “Stay away from my sister.” I grabbed the man by his hair and smashed his face hard against the floor, certain I’d heard his nose breaking. I walked back to the doorway and slammed the door as I exited, nearly breaking that, too. I looked down at the five or so floors below, down to the foyer, and nearly contemplated jumping to the bottom, before realising that it would certainly kill me. I sighed and sat on the rail of the curving stairway. I needed to be quick, so I simply gave myself a push and slid down the banister to the bottom.
I left the building and turned to George, who was waiting outside. I hugged him tightly, though he simply stared at me with dull and listless eyes. “I’m so, so sorry.” He didn’t respond. I kissed his cheek and took his hand lightly, leading him into the building and up the many stairs to the apartment. When we reached the apartment, I heard Rikku and Brother shouting at the man inside, and so I opened the door quietly and led George inside. We walked to Charlotte’s room and I knocked on the door. No answer, so I tried the handle. The door was locked. I turned to George and sighed slightly. “I’m sorry you have to see this.” He simply looked up slightly, to the door, and I walked into Rin’s room and brought back a looped piece of metal with many keys on it. “Master key.” I took the key labelled “Charlotte J” and placed it in the door, unlocking it and making my way inside.
“I want an explanation. Now.” Charlotte shrugged. “Tell me, right now, Charlotte, or else you WILL regret it.” She sighed softly. “He’s just… a guy.” I slammed my hand against the wall. “Not that! You think I care who you’re screwing anymore!? I want to know why you didn’t tell us about going back to Mitsu’s flat and… and that piece of paper!” Charlotte looked down and simply played with her hair, so I lead George back into the living room, the man had already gone. Rin and Rikku looked down at the floor dejectedly. “I’m sorry, George.” George simply sat down on the sofa whilst I remained standing. Brother looked at us. “What’s wrong with you guys? What happened in Mitsu’s apartment, ‘cause you just left me standing there!”
I sighed and looked at George. “Well, while you guys went to Mitsu’s, I went back to the Devaux mansion with George. We entered the mansion, and made our way to Georgina’s room. She was stood inside with a female friend, whose identity we still don’t know. I closed the door behind us and said ‘George, I’m sorry. Your sister is the one who ordered the death of Charlotte Jones.’”
I watched Steven disappear round the corner before closing my door, locking it again. So he didn’t care what I did anymore…he didn’t care about me anymore. I guess I couldn’t blame him. I had been a bit of a bitch recently. But…didn’t I have a reason? Wasn’t the death of…wasn’t his death the reason that I fell apart like this? Or am I just a terrible person inside? I am selfish and self-centred and…I realised then that I had never deserved a brother as good as Steven. Or a boyfriend as good as Mitsu. So then…was this my punishment? Were they just a loaner so that they could be taken away purely to hurt me? Or was it something else? Did people have a limit on how much happiness they could have? Had I reached that limit, so had it all ripped away? Was it something I did, though? If I had acted differently, could I have changed the outcome?
My thoughts were screaming around my head, causing a painful thumping. I needed to get my mind off of everything…My fist rammed into the wall in a failed attempt to stop thinking. It did, however, leave a large crack in the wall. Sighing, I decided to go and apologise to Steven for being such a horrible sister…He was standing in the living room, his hand wrapped tenderly around George’s. I cleared my throat to announce my arrival. “Haven’t you done enough damage?” Steven hissed, his eyes narrowed. I looked away. “I…wanted to apologise,” I whispered. “I know I’m…I’m a really bad person and all, and I have no right to…to be here, wasting your time…but…I’m sorry…”
I took a deep breath before continuing. “I…didn’t tell you I was going to Mitsu’s flat…because I didn’t want to worry you…Like George said, I was being cruel…I was worrying you…he told me you were upset…I should have been helping you, but…everything was…It isn’t a decent excuse…that’s why I’m apologising…George, he told me…I should stop bothering you…he was right. So I figured…leaving…you wouldn’t know…I couldn’t annoy you, or upset you…
“And about that piece of paper…that one isn’t totally my fault. Well…I guess this is all my fault, really…I was bringing it to you, though, I was! But…when I got back…you were leaving…I couldn’t catch up…I swear, though, I did try to give it to you…Even if you hate me…even if you don’t care about me…just believe that. Please…and…I really…truly am sorry…” I trailed off uncertainly. I needed every word to sound sincere, but it seemed to me like I was simply being a coward; I was trying to worm my way out of everything.
Without another word, I went back to my bedroom, locking the door and sitting against it so it wouldn’t open. I wouldn’t say another word, wouldn’t see another person…I wouldn’t inflict myself on others anymore. I was selfish, cruel, self-centred, evil, manipulative…bad, corrupt, dirty, shameless, flawed, inferior…faulty, troublesome, rude, difficult, unpleasant, unfriendly…unclean…wrong.
