I stood outside Moon Dorm fiddling with my jacket uncomfortably. Now it finally occurred to me that I might not even be allowed in – far too late. “Hey, what are you doing here?” a familiar voice hissed. I smiled in relief and looked at the door to see Akatsuki sidling out. “Let’s go,” he breathed, taking hold of my arm gently and guiding me away. “Apparently I slept through the alarm this morning, so I decided to come see you instead. How did you know I was there?” I asked, trying to be light even though last night’s conversation was running through my head again. “Aido saw you through the window. It isn’t safe for you to be here.” I shrugged incredulously. “Why not?” Akatsuki stared at the grass. “It just isn’t.”
He clearly wasn’t going to say anything more, so I looked around awkwardly. Akatsuki had walked me to a small, tranquil garden-like area, and now he gestured to a small stone bench. I sat down and knotted my fingers together. “Why are you always so distant? I thought we would be past that by now,” I whispered. Akatsuki threw himself down next to me heavily, cradling his head in his strong, white hands and moaning softly. “This is so wrong…” he whispered. Boldly, I reached out and took one of his hands in mine. He looked at me sharply, his eyes alight with something that looked a lot like sorrow. I leaned forward a little, and he shook his head morosely. “I can’t do this,” he said, but even as he spoke he was reaching towards me too. His lips hovered millimetres away from mine, and I was scared he would pull back; I wrapped one arm around his neck and pushed myself into his chest.
“I’ll regret this,” he breathed hoarsely. I reached out with trembling hands and gently drew my fingers down his angular cheekbone. “I won’t,” I promised, closing the gap between our mouths and pressing my warm lips against his cold lips gently. I felt him stiffen for a moment, but he soon relaxed into the kiss and wound his arms around my waist, pulling me yet closer. His lips moved gently, parting mine so his sweet breath washed through me. And then I felt something in his mouth; it was sharp enough that it sliced through my tongue with the barest of pressure.
“Stop,” Akatsuki gasped, pulling back with a look of horror. “You’re bleeding.” His hands hovered either side of my face unsurely, and I shook my head. “I’m fine,” I insisted, praying for him to smile. But instead he used his fingers to softly open my mouth again, and he peered in. “See,” I said around his hands, “I’m okay. It isn’t bleeding anymore.” I could hear my words contorted to the point of incomprehensibility, but Akatsuki drew back anyway and nodded. “If you’re sure…” he said in a low, harsh voice.
Hesitantly, I reached out and mirrored Akatsuki’s actions, parting his mouth again. My fingers probed unsurely for the pointed tips again, and stopped once they were there. Then I slowly dragged my eyes away from his and down to his mouth to double check what I was feeling, but before I could get a decent look he had folded my hands into one of his and pulled them away, closing his mouth. “Like I said…I knew I would regret that.” He smiled tightly and I stood up, wrenching my hands away.
“You regret that? Then…maybe I should leave now.” Akatsuki looked up, clearly shocked at the tears making my eyes sparkle and itch. “What-what’s the matter?” It was the first time I’d seen him get flustered, but that didn’t register as I scrubbed my eyes angrily. “I didn’t regret that. I couldn’t regret that. How could I regret kissing you, given how much I like you?!” I started to stumble away, but Akatsuki restrained me with a hand on my shoulder. We struggled for a second before he twirled me to face him, and suddenly his mouth was against mine again.
“I didn’t regret that, you fool,” he said once we parted, tapping my nose. “I regret…you shouldn’t have felt what you did…” I nodded absently, my fingers tracing the shape of his lips on my own mouth. “You must know that I love you.” I felt my eyes widen involuntarily. “You…what?” I breathed. “I said I love you. I’m in love with you. J’aime toi, ich liebe dich, however you want me to say it. I love you.” He went to continue, but I held up one finger to stop him. “Say it once more.” Akatsuki chuckled, and bent down to whisper in my ear.
“I…love…you,” he breathed softly, and I closed my eyes. “So why are you always so…cold? And I don’t mean in the literal sense, before you laugh at that.” Akatsuki pulled away, sighing. “If you must spoil this…There’s something you don’t know about me. Something you ought to know before we allow this to go any further.” I rubbed my forehead, frustrated. “Zero said something about that. Can you just tell me then?” Akatsuki opened his mouth to speak, but a rustling behind us made him stop.
“Alright,” he called backwards, “I’m coming.” He peered down at me again, but I could tell he was guarded once more. His eyes were closed off and his face blank before he spoke his next words. “I’m very sorry, but classes will begin soon and my friends are…impatient to have me back.” He was about to walk away, but I grabbed his hand furiously. “No, you promised to tell me what this something was! You promised,” I said loudly, but I knew it was already a lost cause.
“…Okay,” he whispered, “Okay. Meet me here tomorrow, three o’clock – in the morning.” I nodded slowly. “Tomorrow. You promise?” He started to walk away, seeming to radiate because of his paleness, and called back, “I promise.” His white hand waved gently, and then I sank back onto the bench, shaking uncontrollably. Tomorrow…
