~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~
~Welcome to where I spill my heart out~
~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~
~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~
Please enjoy my poems and comment if you wish. All feedback is appreciated and valued.
~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~
Sometimes life throws hard times at us. At those times, we must never forget who we are and what we strive for. Never forget your dreams.
~Razi-chan
And people ask me, what I do with my life
I tell them all these things, make them up as I go
I don't necessarily lie, but I hide my own strife
Most of the time, I actually feel like such a lowlife
And so they ask me, "Well, where are your friends?"
I want to reply, "What friends? They all leave, in the end."
I go on thinking, I might as well give up hope
I'll never get out of this slope, all I can do is secretly mope
They tell me to make some new friends
But still, it's useless; why can't they leave me alone?
The way I present myself, I'm not sure what message it sends
But I'm sure, I've had more friends than they could have ever known
Although I feel simply mindless without you
I know I'm not always completely alone
Despite people thinking so, when I'm sad, I know what to do
I don't have anywhere to go, but at least my heart's not made of stone
I go around believing I don't need anyone
And in truth, they may very well be superfluous
Then tell me why, I constantly keep checking my cellphone?
I'm sorry if I seem lonesome, I really am quite adventurous
So why does it feel like, I'm constantly by myself
To go around pondering life, the morals about oneself
I feel like I want to be alone, but that would be contradictory
I might give up, thinking maybe it's all... just a silly conspiracy.
So in the end I simply can't keep a secret
Everyone knows everything but the truth
I know I've experienced something I'll never forget
My acting, my feelings, never could form a sleuth
Everyone knows everything but the truth
About who I love, what I've become
Never did I dream of something like this, in all of my youth
I calculated carefully, but never considered the obvious outcome
I would never want to do anything to hurt you
I just solely want to be with you, it's my heart's desire
Everyone else now knows everything but the truth
There's this feeling constantly burning inside me, this bright fire
It makes me want to run out my door
Which I've always hid behind
And pull you into my arms, this feeling's spurred deep into my core
You're that something I always wanted to happen, that something I needed to find
All my life I've only wanted a change
To everyone else, this may seem strange
But this is all I've wanted before, I want my life rearranged
This beaten path, for a new one, I've only dreamed of giving an exchange
Because everyone knows everything but the truth
Only you know it too, you know I could never lie
I've never known exactly what I wanted, but now I know that it might be you
I never want to forget you, for you'll always be part of my life
Everyone knows everything but the one truth
My feelings are always bursting inside of me
No one will never really see, the truth that resides inside of me
I firmly know that you know, and that's simply enough
Because if everyone else knew the truth, it may not be like it is now
I like what I became, I know I'll still change, even we won't remain the same
But when we knew, everything looked different, everything looked new
Everything changed, my whole world, a different view
It was a change I'd been begging for, all this time
But even so, this mile stone, by other people, won't be known
You might one day move on, like everybody else does
But I won't be sad, I won't frown, 'cause I'll remember how it was
Everyone knows everything but the truth, of which has been sewn
You've forever changed me, I know what life can be
I now know happiness exists, I can even find it within me
I'll never again be truly alone, for this truth, I now know
So I go and wonder through life
And wonder what I get from all my strife
But even if it doesn't hold out in the end
At least I know I don't need to depend on just a friend
So what if I am lonely
I've decided maybe it's the best
Because I can't see it any other way, it's how it was meant to be
I think I can pass any test, one day we all must fly from the nest
I don't need all these people constantly around me
To tell me what to do and how to be
Because as long as I am me, and that's who they see
I don't care what they think, through life this way, I'll proceed
I might make great friends along the way
There's nothing I can do, they eventually all drift away
Someday you might be like the rest too
But rest assured, I'll never completely forget you
I write all these poems to remind myself
Of who I am and who I was, like keeping my memories on a shelf
I don't want to repeat any mistakes
Though I know you're not one, I think I'm finally awake
I might wander aimlessly through life
But despite all my triumphs and strife
I wonder what happened to all the other people I once knew
But when I look back,I know it was never really true
Some friends go, some friends stay, but I don't need them all
Sometimes people think all we need are other people
But just because I'm by myself doesn't mean I'm insignificant and small
I don't always need someone there for me, I try to tell myself
Despite it all, I've simply accepted the loneliness in hindsight
To protect myself, I try with all my might
To save myself from falling right into all those stupid plights
That other people get themselves tangled in, so for now, I'll stay out of sight
And in that moment, I realize just how precious you are to me
Now I see, just how much we have in common
Were we meant to know each other, I guess we'll have to wait and see
All strength and courage to keep going, I cry out to summon
In a moment, I realize everything all at once
I realize I want to be with you
Although everyone I know says it's just nonsense
I have these feelings, life itself is now a whole new view
Taking each new step and living is now more precious
Because I want to be here when I get the chance to see you, my friend
I'm sorry for my absence, but you are constantly on my conscience
I don't want this love to end, even if it's the rules I have to bend
At this carrying-on moment, I don't care what others think or feel
You're so special to me, I hold you close to my fluttering heart
Every memory, every feeling, I simply could not conceal
Because ever since the start, from you I never want to be apart
In every other moment, I have you on my tiny mind
I have these thoughts, each different, one of a kind
By this love, it may cause me to act blind
But thanks to this moment, I know someone else like you, I won't ever find
Again and again, I wear my heart on my sleeve
It might be foolish, but I don't know what else to believe
In this moment, I am calmed by the thought
Of being with you, which I constantly try to plot
In this moment, I realize just how important you are
I count my lucky stars, and see how lucky I am
To have met you, my worst fears have been slain
Even if I love in vain, in this moment, I won't ever forget this loving pain
Wandering around aimlessly in reality
I stand and stare at nothing, though the world around me is crazy
Without you, I am forced to think about how things could be
Without you, even my goals all blur, turning hazy
For some reason I thought I could never be happy
But here I am now, and it's too good to be true
Never thought it could be so real, I almost want to scream
Because being happy was just some unreachable dream
But after having something so close, then have it suddenly taken away
It shows me how fragile I've become... my heart's stuck in the fray
As much as I disregard hope, it's always a new path you portray
You've done so much for me, how can I possibly ever repay?
I feel like something is missing when you're not around
A part of my heart, it's beating but not completely
When you're not here, it's a painful sadness I resound
But to not worry you, my sadness, I keep tucked away so neatly
Without you being instantly reachable, I feel simply incomplete
Without you, I do things so halfheartedly, I pray so one day we can meet
I don't know what else to do, but somehow, I don't feel as lost anymore
I feel more useless and empty instead, what am I even here for?
I have everything I need
But none of it matters because I can't spend time with you
I tried telling myself I don't need you, but I could not succeed
Without you, I'm not myself, I just don't know what to do
Things are so different now, though it's been a short time
I'm sorry I feel this way- I hope loving you isn't a crime
I can't stand the thought of not knowing if you're okay or not
It just tears at me and makes me wonder what I've really got
