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~Welcome to where I spill my heart out~
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Please enjoy my poems and comment if you wish. All feedback is appreciated and valued.
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Sometimes life throws hard times at us. At those times, we must never forget who we are and what we strive for. Never forget your dreams.
~Razi-chan
Driving by, the darkened trees
They line the road like a coast, a silhouetted sea
Nothing ever overcomes the darkness,
Except for the stars, which appear to be harmless
As I look up at the twilight sky
The star's light reveals the tears in my sad eyes
When I finally realized what I have been missing
But also, the one thing I have too much of
Is such a thing called pride... a blessing or a curse?
The silhouettes of darkness immerse my confidence, oh, but could it be worse?
Sadly, my pride is all I have
Without it, the cold, sharp wind would simply blow me away
Not knowing what else to do
I do nothing, although, I wish there was something
Is there nothing I can do now? My pride is now all I own...
Despite all this, I feel most at peace, when I'm alone
However I wish it were not so,
I don't know where else I can go
The silhouetted trees cease to grow
I cannot see over them
My pride blinds me; it governs my darkness, even pushes me to my limits
There is no confidence within me, it's all I can permit
This is what I feel, a deep void that is filled with tears
But it soon runs dry again, just to be filled once again with all my fears
The stars shine through, piercing brightly
Though their light I cannot see
My pride has blinded me
Strayed from the path, my tears have blurred my sight
Although the darkness has overcome everything
There's still the light of those distant stars
That look down on me, the pathetic thing
Who's confidence has been lost long ago...
However I wish it were not so,
I don't know where else I can go
The silhouetted trees grow
I cannot... see over them.
"She’s not very happy now,"
"I wonder what’s wrong, this time."
I try to be in a good mood,
But there’s always something… bringing me down
Something I cannot defy
Something I cannot forget
Something I always regret,
And something I cannot erase
Why is there always something like that?
I try to be in a good mood, I want to be happy
But how can it be so, when I see reality
I feel the deep sorrow as I realize this again
Why, why, why, why, why?
I can never be truly happy by myself
If I can be accompanied by only selfish thoughts
Oh, why does reality have to be so harsh?
I hate the fact that I have no self-confidence
But should one be so selfish as to believe such a thing anyway?
There are times when it’s self VS self,
Others when it’s self VS one’s past self
The only difference is the inevitability
Of regretting the reality
That one cannot win against one’s self alone
Because it’s not about how strong one is, but the strength of ‘them’
You can’t see your own strength unless you’ve seen the strength of others
Of which I have not seen, or maybe I have?
I feel blinded by the façade of reality
It is simply put, I cannot see over the wall
It is too high, I cannot climb over
It’s been built again and again for many years
The wall cannot be destroyed
Or knocked down
Something I cannot defy
Something I cannot forget
Something I always regret,
And something I cannot erase
But my ‘self’ certainly can be
For that something is what I cannot forget or erase
There is simply nothing that can raise me
Because everything is already set up, but cannot be carved
It is something… I cannot deny anymore
It simply eludes me
That strength in myself
I cannot grasp it, or is it even there?
I stare at the blank screen
In front of me, blinking endlessly
I type few words, but can't get out what I mean
It is important, what I am trying to say, why can't you see?
No reply, no reply
Maybe it's because I'm too shy
I gave you and cannot give you a reply
No reply, no reply
I just kept staring at the blank screen
The little line blinking at me
I can't manage the words, it feels so obscene
Why is this the way it has to be?
I really want to send you a reply
All these feelings, but I have no words
And I can't help it when I cry
Those feelings I wish to convey
Though my fingers are numb
My eyes fixated to the blankness
Sadly, this is what my existence has become
The empty void of words as plain as darkness
But eventually, I know I'll have the power
To send you a reply, I will eventually send you a good reply
Maybe not this very day, perhaps not this very hour
Because these feelings, though however potent, I cannot deny
No reply, no reply
Though I gave you no answer
The reply is still buried in my heart, as true as the sky
No reply, no reply, not yet, no reply
My mouth is dry
But my cheeks are stained
Stared down, I wonder why
I can't speak, my throat pained
My heart ached, why couldn't I say
What I needed to, at the time?
Is there no other way?
I have no confidence, but that's fine
I always seem to get by
Day by day, and it's just enough
Though it always leaves me
Wondering why
I can never do more
Than I'm expected to
It usually leaves me
Feeling small and sore
But such small words
Can leave so many feelings
It always leaves me
With my mouth dry, wondering why
Even though I may be weak
I have these feelings that are strong
So many feelings, I can't seem to define
Thus the world... ends up looking bleak
It's been a while
Since I was last honest to myself
Just because the last thing I gave you was a smile
Doesn't mean I'm happy with myself on the inside
It's been a while
Since I last told myself
"I can do anything"
Because thanks to reality
I don't believe that anymore
Just so you know, it's a cruel world out there
It can crush your dreams and tear you apart
And it can break your face, or heavy your heart
But that doesn't mean
You can just give it up
And that certainly doesn't mean
You can lose faith in yourself
There's still hope for you
Hope for you, and I
It matters what you do
It matters what you think
Because as long as you hold on to that hope
And clutch onto that dream, so tightly
You cannot let it go, and no matter what
You can always change... your destiny
