"She’s not very happy now,"
"I wonder what’s wrong, this time."
I try to be in a good mood,
But there’s always something… bringing me down
Something I cannot defy
Something I cannot forget
Something I always regret,
And something I cannot erase
Why is there always something like that?
I try to be in a good mood, I want to be happy
But how can it be so, when I see reality
I feel the deep sorrow as I realize this again
Why, why, why, why, why?
I can never be truly happy by myself
If I can be accompanied by only selfish thoughts
Oh, why does reality have to be so harsh?
I hate the fact that I have no self-confidence
But should one be so selfish as to believe such a thing anyway?
There are times when it’s self VS self,
Others when it’s self VS one’s past self
The only difference is the inevitability
Of regretting the reality
That one cannot win against one’s self alone
Because it’s not about how strong one is, but the strength of ‘them’
You can’t see your own strength unless you’ve seen the strength of others
Of which I have not seen, or maybe I have?
I feel blinded by the façade of reality
It is simply put, I cannot see over the wall
It is too high, I cannot climb over
It’s been built again and again for many years
The wall cannot be destroyed
Or knocked down
Something I cannot defy
Something I cannot forget
Something I always regret,
And something I cannot erase
But my ‘self’ certainly can be
For that something is what I cannot forget or erase
There is simply nothing that can raise me
Because everything is already set up, but cannot be carved
It is something… I cannot deny anymore
It simply eludes me
That strength in myself
I cannot grasp it, or is it even there?
