Some of you may have wondered about my last post about why I seem to be feeling down.
Well...now I'll tell you. As honest as I'll ever be.

I really want out of my life.
I'm really hating it so much.
Especially from all the stress I'm dealing with right now...

I feel that my heart has become weak and fragile from the past incidents among family and friends.
That "stab in the heart" saying really does pack a huge punch on me now.
It feels like a major throb, then a stab, and it breaking apart.
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I wonder..."Why could I not die in my sleep? My heart feels extremely heavy. I refuse to accept this... Let me stay asleep, forever..."

(DON'T WORRY. My relationship with Ike-kun is still strong. He's the only one, along with few other, you can heal it.)

I know, I must sound like a spoiled brat, don't I?
Well, that's just one thing I hate about myself that I want out, too...