“There’s always something, isn’t there,” The words come out more as a sigh than a statement, “Though it does make you wonder.” I turn to look at my companion; she is sitting quietly watching the geese flutter on the pond. She says nothing, but that’s just the way she is, “I feel like I’m too old to restart.”
My companion smiles, thinking to herself. I wish she wouldn’t do that, I get so curious as to what she is thinking that makes her smile so. I never ask though, too rude.
“I want to say I’m doing my best, but…”
“There’s always something.” My companion finishes as she turns her head to look at me, “I’ve said this before, and will probably say it till the day I die, ‘optimism is your friend.’”
I groan, “What if I die first?”
She puts a finger on her chin, “Then I’ll probably say it when I visit your grave; since I have this feeling that even in heaven you’ll be a pessimist.”
I laugh slightly and shake my head. I don’t know who’s worse when it comes to sarcasm sometimes; she’s got the whole believable factor. The fact that she’s cute doesn’t help matters.
My companion lets out a quiet sigh as she falls back and stares up at the reddening sky. Not wanting to miss whatever it is she sees, I follow suit. For a sun set, it wasn’t half bad. The clouds that spotted the sky were all painted in soft pastels. Each warm color blending and flowing till it met with the creeping night. “Do this often?” I ask as I roll my head to look at her.
The dim light paints her face a pale peach; there she goes smiling again, “Your problem is that you keep getting hung up on your mistakes. Take this for example, you still haven’t gotten over the fact that you totally bombed that astronomy test even though you are an avid stargazer.”
I snap my head forward and concentrate on the dissipating twilight, “It’s because you keep bringing it up.”
She laughs, “Only because you keep brooding about it.”
I wrinkle my nose and choose to say nothing.
Time passes and neither of us say anything. When it gets like this I have a tendency to wonder why I’m comfortable like this. I’m fine enough by myself, yet… I really do need to do something. Acting on instinct, it may work in a pinch but… I sit up and look back at my companion, “Do you ever think about what you will do when you grow up?”
She sits up as well, “Too young.”
I look at her all cockeyed and stupid, “Huh?”
She giggles, “At this point, none of us know what we are good at, let alone what might be around when it comes time for us to choose. Or so my sister says.” She looks at me, “Ah, I see. It’s the whole outcast thing. That’s what’s bothering you. You have a tendency to rant when it gets overwhelming. I can’t believe I didn’t notice.”
I pout, “You can be that way since you have friends.”
“And you don’t”
I open my mouth to retort, but choose not to say anything.
Night had fallen while we talked. My mom is probably getting worried, or not. I don’t know sometimes. I don’t want to leave though. If it were any other person, then I’d probably have made up some excuse or another and be at home right now watching TV. I’m getting too close. I said I wouldn’t, but… Damn it.
“In the end,” My companion breaks the silence, “I think it’s best if, after I leave, we leave it up to fate as to whether we meet again.”
I look at her intently, waiting for her to continue.
“Neither of us is all that outgoing, nor are we all that needy for human contact. So, even if we never talk to each other again, we’ll probably be fine.” She sighs and looks at her feet, “Maybe.”
“When do you leave?” All I could do was ask that question, I’m not all that good with comforting.
“In a week,” Her voice gets muffled as she buries her head between her knees, “I hate the military. God knows how long my dad will have to stay in Germany. None of my family speaks German, so how the heck does he expect us to get along when we’re not on base? Stupid dad.”
I laugh, “Who’s ranting now?”
She rips up some grass and throws it at me, “Thanks mister sympathy.”
“If you really want it that way, then there’s not much to say. And if we are to meet again?”
My companion stands and brushes the grass from her pants, “Maybe we could get some pancakes and whatnot.”
I groan as I stand, so stiff, “Now I’m hungry. Why pancakes?”
She laughs, “Because they’re good and I want some.”
We leisurely make our way out of the park and proceed in the direction of my companion’s house. “So does fate start after tonight?” I ask as we pass under the orangish glow of a street lamp.
Her feet drag slightly and her pace slows, “Probably. Otherwise it might not work.”
I squint at a passing car, “Ah.”
We turn onto her street, “Well,” She spins around and looks me square in the eyes, “Till we meet again.”
I nod my head, saying nothing as I watch her walk off towards her house. Bye.
