I wonder if I ever woke up that day. Everything seemed to have come together when he came. And now he has to leave again.
I stare out towards the fields as I sit on the school roof. Vermillion is back at the house talking with my mom about something, he didn’t say. Today is his last day, he told me he was leaving tonight. I sigh to myself and close my eyes as a cool breeze blows in my face. Just one more day and he could have been here for the festival. I know we couldn’t have done much together, but whatever we could have done would have been enough.
A tear rolls down my cheek; here I go again, crying about something I have no control over. Why does he have to be this way? I rub my eyes as more tears fall. Why did I have to fall in love? I take a few deep breaths and try to calm myself down. Rachel told me once that crying about love means it is real; that if someone never feels pain in a relationship, then it wasn’t meant to be. It sounds like something Vermillion might say, but I hope she’s right.
“I knew you’d be here.” I turn around with a start, “My old habit seems to have transferred to you.” I just about broke down when I saw Vermillion. He stood there all ruffled: his big ears, pointed face, his scruffy hair. Just the way I remembered him, “I thought I’d at least talk to you once looking like I used to.” He smiles, “Are you just going to sit there? I know you’re aching to do something.”
I stare into his eyes for a moment; it really was him. I push myself up off the edge and run over to him, embracing him at full speed. I lock my arms around him and dig my face into his shoulder, tears flowing from my eyes, “Why do you have to leave?” I cry.
He holds me closer and strokes my hair, “Because it’s already been decided.”
I squeeze him tighter, “Why is everything you do decided already?”
“I wish I could tell you.”
“Why do I love you?”
He laughs slightly, “I wish I knew myself.”
I unlock my arms and step back a few steps; the cool breeze chills my tear covered face. Vermillion laughs again and hands me a handkerchief, “You cry a lot.”
I blow my nose, “I don’t think you cry at all.”
“Ouch.”
“Well, I’ve never seen you.”
He sighs, “True. I’m sorry.”
I shake my head, “No, you don’t have to be.” I watch as he walks by me to the edge of the roof, “I just thought I would never see you again.” I walk up next to him and look at his face; he stared blankly into the distance.
“Truth is, I never planned to come back at this point.” He rubs his head, “It’s just that Master has his own ideas and I really can’t go against what he says.”
I gently grab his hand and smile when he accepts, “Beggers can’t be choosers.”
“Sorry I can’t stay for the festival, but I think Master had planned it that way.”
“Yeah, it would have been nice.”
For two more years Vermillion fought with the special forces unit he was assigned to. I guess it was a test; a test to see whether my love was real. I was able to talk to him from time to time, but not as much as I had hoped. It was a lot for a young girl to deal with.
I still wonder sometimes, what he is thinking about when he looks up at the sky. I wonder if the sky he sees is the same as the sky that I see; where ever he might be right now. He may not return this time; that is my big worry. Who is he now? Is he still fighting? Only time and some massive information gathering can tell.
