Today was both good and bad. It was good because I spent even more time with my young cousins. They make me as happy as I can ever be. I got to hold the new baby, and she fell asleep in my arms, which inspired so many story ideas...I could write the corniest story right now. Seriously, though, there's something about having a tiny baby fall asleep in your arms...magical, I'd say. Well, magical until she woke up hungry and started to scream. Still, it was a sweet moment.

Now the sad part. Some friends of mine seem to be having a hard time right now. I do everything I can to help, but I don't think I did much. It makes me feel so useless and worthless when things go wrong and I can't help. I feel like I'm only making things worse and that's all I ever do in these situations. I never know the right words to say, the right things to do, when to talk and when to keep my mouth shut...it's like their bad feelings are seeping into me. I try my best to help. Other people can help but I can't make things better for people. That makes me feel like shit, plus I hate the idea of people suffering, so I don't like to see them when they're unhappy. Oh, well. Tomorrow's another day with the little kids. They'll cheer me up, I guess. Plus, I can fix things for them because they're at the age where a band-aid or a familiar presence can fix anything. (And I envy them for that, believe me.)

We'll be going to an amusement park tomorrow, and I'll be going on rides that scare me shitless. I look forward to it.