We didn't place at the area marching contest. After all the hard work I poured into that marching show, it's definitely a let down. In fact, it hurts a lot.
Basically, genetics did not give a body good for doing anything slightly athletic. I have a twisted spine (similar to scoliosis, but not the same thing). My jaw is misaligned and my hips are crooked, which in turn makes one of my legs shorter than the other by about an inch. As a result, I had to wear a back brace the entire marching season.
I'm the vice president of our band. I put so much into it, it's ridiculous. I want to Drum Major my senior year, so I'm working as hard as I can. I barely ever have time to myself, because my spare time is BAND time and if it's not BAND time its THEATER time or SCHOOLWORK time or COMPETITIVE SPEECH. You might be thinking, "just what does a vice president even do?", but trust me, I do a lot. I have to take care of my section (trombones), keep an eye on the other sections, make sure I'm always doing everything right as to set a good example, tell people to shut up all the time, memorize schedules and know answers to questions about stuff that I didn't even do last year. I lose sleep worrying about band and then I'm so tired in school I end up sleeping in class. And sometimes it feels like there's nothing I can do. Sometimes it feels like the only person who shares my motivation and frustration is Washi Tamashii, even though I know its not true. It can't be.
I practice for at least an hour everyday. I love trombone so much, it's not even funny. Which leads me to my next grievance. My section does not share my motivation whatsoever. There is one person in particular who gives me a VERY hard time. He cannot play very well, and it's not just because he doesn't practice, but he doesn't have any natural talent. It's sad, but true. I wouldn't mind if that was the only thing he did, but it isn't. He is insubordinate, he is always undermining either mine or one of the other section leader's authority. He says HORRIBLE things about me behind my back, and because I'm a year younger than him and I'm in charge of him, he is VERY VERY bitter. He didn't even try out for section leader! I tried out and was denied because I came in third in the section leader try outs, but one of the drum major candidates bumped me out of my spot. I was elected to Vice President by the band, and I was running against two other people who were by no means pushovers. But this kid... he does such stupid things that cost us OVER and OVER again. One of the things we got called on at region was SPACING and he is one of the main culprits. Plus, since he refuses to admit he's wrong, there's nothing anyone can do about it. You tell him to do something, he does the opposite out of spite. Then he tries to tell ME I'm doing it wrong. HELLOOOO! If you're the only one out of formation, don't try to blame someone else. At least now he's moving to tuba and I won't have to deal with him.
Despite all this, I love band more than anything. If I didn't, I wouldn't be writing this right now. You have to at least care about something to be frustrated about it. If I really disliked it, I would have done what I did with cheerleading and cross country. I would have quit.
Today, as I mentioned, was area. I wanted us to go to finals so bad. Yesterday at the football game I sprained my ankle really badly coming out of one of the sets. It was enough to make me cry it hurt so much. Today, I took two extra strength Tylenol, wrapped up my ankle and I marched on that thing. I marched my heart out and I did better than I've ever done. I don't want to think that what I did wasn't good enough, because I know that isn't true. In the end however, something about our show wasn't good enough for the judges. We didn't make it to finals. And I cried.
I'm feeling better now, and I've pretty much come to terms with it... still...
I better get a chair in the symphonic band.