One upon a time, somewhere near Nome, Alaska, there was a group of children that always played in the snow together. On one paticularly snowy day, they decided to build a snowman. The children made the body and stacked the head on top of it. Then they made buttons and eyes out of coal and even gave him a corn cob pipe. "Let's call hime Icy," said one of the children, so they did. After this, the decided some things were missing: Icy needed a hat, a nose, and some arms. So they attached some sticks to his sides and then someone brought out a silk opera hat. "Wouldn't it be hillarious if the snowman came to life just like Frosty when we put the hat on?" one child mused. But nothing happened of course because everyone knows that snowmen can't come to life just because you put a silk opera hat on them. A child then stuck a carrot in Icy's face for a nose, and Icy jumped up and and began to dance around. The children played with Icy for several years because, obviously, it's not very warm in Nome, Alaska. Then a couple of the children decided to get married and move away from Nome. Icy, of course, didn't like the sound of that, so he went to the makeshift airport to stop them. They were never heard from again. The other children heard this, and decided that Icy needed to be stopped. So they ordered several super soakers online from ebay (and waited the four months it took for them to get to Nome), filled them with hot water (which didn't stay hot for long), and set out on an Icy hunt. Icy heard rumors that the children were coming after him and decided to prepare, after all, he had almost half a year to get ready. He bought an ice axe, a bow, and, naturally, a headband. Now he was ready. The children broke up into several different patrols that took twenty minute shifts so they could thaw out the super soakers and fill them with hot water again. Every time one of the patrols caught up to Icy, they hosed him down with hot water. They were never heard from again. When Icy realized what was happening, he decided to come up with a plan. "This isn't cool," he said every time the children soaked him with their water. Then he realized that he needed a waterproof covering, like a wolf's outer body covering. So Icy went out and skinned a wolf. The wolf was never heard from again. Icy donned his new poached fur coat, and headed out in search of the children. When the children first saw Icy, they almost didn't recognize him. If it hadn't been for the carrot sticking out of the wolf's mouth, they would have been slaughtered and never even known what hit them. As it was, the only thing different about the outcome was that they new what hit them. None of them were ever heard from again. Even now Icy the snowman roams Alaska and Northern Canada in search of vengeance on all children. Armed with nothing but his trusty ice axe and bow (and headband of course), he makes sure that most Canadian and Alaskan children are never heard from again.