(Had this dream years ago. One of my funner ones.)
I lay staring up at the clear blue sky as I drift aimlessly on my raft on this waterworld in which I am lost on. If I'm lucky I might run into Kevin Costner and he'd help me out. But I will say this now, I ain't drinkin my own piss.
What feel like days pass, though I imagine it was only hours. Seein as how the sun never set, that is. My savior came in the form of a giant purple robot runnin all retreat like from somewhere. Most likely it was unintentional because not long after I was confronted by an infinite number of monkeys wanting to know what I thought about their script for Hamlet.
Somehow I arrived on the docks of Neo-Venezia. Maybe I wasn't in a bad movie after all. While in town I went and got mes some walnut bread and a bit of gelato. Then it was on to Mac Anu, where I was to meet a friend of mine for a quest.
The quest was a rare event where it would be a mass war against 300 spartans. Yes, Spartans. Problem was, my friend was a trainer. Not that I have anything against those strange animals; it's just that I don't think they will be effective against large, bulky, sweaty, testosterone driven, brainless, macho macho men. And I'm quiet sure that if my friend were to use a vine attack, these men might just enjoy it.
Well, as luck would have it, Alma, the devil of The World, owed me a few favors. What followed was a veritable blood bath of epic proportions. You could say she put the F.E.A.R of god in those soldiers. What a twisted little bitch she can be.
Then things got ugly. A shift opened and I found myself in Arcadia, the Chaos was everywhere. My only hope was to find April, but ever since she found the last Guardian no one has seen her. Quite vexing, if you ask me. Being a cat, birds don't want to talk to me; so finding Crow was also out of the question. My only option was to run, screaming like a little girl, until I either found another shift back to Stark, or died. Oh, I ran, harder than I ever thought I could. To this day I'm amazed I still have my voice cause I so screamed like a little girl being chased by very scary ghosts.
I must have passed out cause I found myself waking up in All God's Village. Did I ever say that I hate my life. Well, I'm saying it now "I hate my life." I had to get out right quick before the villagers made me into their kebab, or whatever that male outsider sacrifice is called. Balance be damned, I hate this so much. As luck would have it, and a love of twins, I made it out of there only having lost my third arm and second head.
If there ever was a time to have a cold one, now was it. So I laid back in my chair, popped the top of my beer and turned on some touching Oprah. This lasted a whole ten minutes. I got a call on my cell from the boys in blue about that damned serial killer I've been trackin for months now. They had a lead, a damned lead. I was out the door in a flash.
