Hey you guys,
I just wanted to thank you for the lovely comments ♥ I really appreciate each and every one deeply. I've been going through a lot lately, so my heart has been aching and won't stop. I'm confused, hurt, depressed and I don't know what to do. Last Sunday was the last time I saw and spoke to Nick, and I'm so terribly afraid that it might be over...
Everything seemed okay, he always said "I love you", he'd kiss me, he'd hold me, he held my hand I don't know where it all went wrong. We were out all night, before we went our separate ways He kissed me goodnight and made the heart symbol with his hands. Good night, Ily ♥...or so I thought.
The next day, I sign onto MSN and his personal message reads: "Je t'aime Myrai (L)" (I love you Myrai (L)) I was confused and hurt. Is he cheating on me? Is this his way of telling me it's over? Or is it something I really shouldn't worry about? Either way I didn't have the heart to ask him about myself. So instead I asked my friend Dani to inquire about it but not to make it so obvious, so she spoke to him, made random conversation then she asked. She just came here from Australia so her French is weak, so she starts off saying "About your PM, Je means I right :D ?" Nick responds to this with "Yes" so she continues, acting stupid she's like "So what does the rest mean :/ ?" then Nick goes "Secret :P" as soon as she tells me, I discover her had blocked me. So I'm even more confused and hurt.
I don't know what to do, I've tried for days to get in contact with him, I always have that little hope in my heart that he'll unblock me, I want to talk to him, find out whats going on with everything. I would call him, at his dads house but I don;t think I can find the exact words..besides I'm still grounded and can't use the phone. It's just so strange though, everything seemed all good..he even introduced me to his brother that day, his parents know about me and...I'm so lost and broken.
A couple days after, I was admitted into the hospital so they can run tests on me, I was treated like a suicide patient..I'll explain that in more detail later..right now, this issue with Nick is the one that bugs me most.
I've had tried almost everything, I'm always online in case by any chance he would talk to me, I leave him off line messages, that probably won't get to him because I'm blocked. I wrote him a letter that my friend was suppose to give to him because I had to stay at the hospital for 2 days and couldn't give it to him, he never showed when he said he would. I try and try, and it's frustrating because I care and love him so much and it hurts. Like, even if he's cheating on me/ ending it, I'd expect him to say it to my face. I can respect him that way, I want him to explain everything to me.
Well that's it for me, I'm getting ready to go out. I was suppose to meet Nick today to work things out, but I never got in contact with him.
Bye..
