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Once again, you don't really have to read this, if you don't want to.
Most of it just leads to Nyx's past and connections to Zero's Leader, and it is long so I understand if many don't. But many thanks to the ones that are interested. ^_^;;
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He must have realized his abrupt action and took in the surprise on my face. For he brought up his elbows up onto the table, clasped his hands together, closed his eyes, and rested his forehead on his clasped hand; to relaxed himself before continuing on. And strangely the sight made me want to reach out to the frustrated man and comfort him anyway I could. I had to clench my fists tight to stop my hands from reaching out to him. Finally I couldn’t take it any longer and stepped forward so that I was only two feet away from the desk and made my presence known again.
“Xerebus… I. I am sorry for startling you. I mean if you were startled, of course someone of your standers probably doesn’t startle, but… not that it is bad if you were startled. The strongest guys even get startled sometimes even though they don’t want to admit it, but it’s not like I am calling them lairs or anything. They just don’t want anyone to see their weak side. I mean… not like I am saying you have a weak side, even though it is okay if you do, but…”
Surprised by a sound coming from in front of me I realized that I had started babbling again and quickly cut myself off. Hoping that I did not saying anything disrespectful to the man. Well at least I knew from this experience that I could check off negotiation on my list of possible careers. If I make it out of this one and make it work it would be a ‘miracle’, and I would even ‘kiss’ a toad if I made this work.
“Nyx,” Xerebus stopped to, from what I think I heard before, hold back another small chuckle then continued on. “Please would you like to take a seat?”
“Um… Yea. A seat, they are nice—and soft…. Er, I mean Thanks.”
I could feel my face heat up, as I quickly backed up to take a seat, still trying to figure out what to say next. My head was beginning to fill up with everything going on, it was becoming hard to even focus on a simple question made by this man. The more I didn’t occupy my mind with some more pictures and voices played in my head. Ultima said that I would start remembering things. I still don’t know why or what I should remember, but before I become totally useless I at least have to ask Xerebus about Xraktos. Then maybe I can—
“Ahhh…” I called out as I started to fall back, after stumbling over a mixture of boots to big, a cloak to long, and of course klutziness. I tried grabbing the chair’s arm rest but my hand slipped from the grasp, as I continued to fall to the hard floor. The only thing was… as I tensed up waiting for the fall, all I felt after a moment was something hard, but not as hard as the floor and warm?
Opening my eyes I saw dark colored fabric and I could feel something wrapped around me. Shifting a little so I could raise my head I looked up to see something that surprised me. Xerebus, he was looking down at me with a weird expression on his face that I couldn’t place. I don’t even know how long we stayed like that, but the longer we did the hotter my face felt and the more familiar it started to be. The Silver tie that went thru my body… even that became less tight.
Then I felt him stiffen and tense, then the hand that held my right wrist loosened as well as the one around my back. Everything from then on became fuzzy with the speed of the whole thing. The hand that held my covered wrist loosed so that my hand could slide out of it, but when it did slide through a faint contact was made, skin on skin. Though it was only a brush it was enough to send both of us to our knees, and hold onto the closest thing around so we wouldn’t fall over.
Not only pictures now but scenes, with audio, played in my head. Only this time most of the scenes I was able to watch, instead of looking thru someone’s eyes.
‘There were two young men, which looked like they were twins, with cute little stars tattoos on their upper cheek bones. They seemed to be pestering a man a few years younger than them, and that man looked like he was about ready to go Hulk on them. A beautiful woman sat on top of a man’s lap not too far away. The woman was trying hard not to laugh at the scene, and the man seemed to never look away from that woman, as if her smile was the best thing the world could offer him. A young girl’s laughter could be heard as the scene changed.’
‘Before me was a massive, well lit, room, with beautiful antique decorations. The ceilings of the sides of the circler room were shorter than the middle, and the sides were lined with tall white columns. On one end of the room there was a wrap around staircase that led to wooden doors. The other side of the room held three sets of stained glassed doors, which led to a rather large stone balcony.
The room was filled with people wearing masks. There were people on the floor dancing wonderfully to old time melodies, while others in their own little groups talked and watched the others dancing. One group stood out more than the others though, a small group of girls stood near the back of the room talking lightly to each other. Then one of the girls went quiet and nudged another in the ribs silencing the rest of them.
I watched as a tall man cut thru the crowd his silver locks blowing out behind him. As he approached the girls I saw a polite smile cross his face as he nodded at all the other girls in the group except one. For when his eyes landed on her a different smile spread across his face, and a blush and a shy smile spread across hers. I could even feel my cheeks warm up at the smile he gave the shorter, strawberry haired girl—’
At the sudden realization, of what was happening, more things played in my head, but it was like everything was stuck in fast forward. Now and then some scenes would seem to skip and leave an empty feeling behind, but otherwise it felt like I finally regained something that made me whole. That no matter what happened everything will be okay in the end as long as we had this.
Warm tears ran down my cheeks as the movie began to slow down, and I watched the end unfold. Xerebus's warm arms tightened around me as if to shield me from the memory. Still on the floor, my hands clutched to his shoulders tighter. I felt that rope again, only this time it was in a memory, go dangerously tight then in an instant shatter into little bits. Like an extremely hot glass bowl when you put it under cold water when it is still hot. I could feel Xerebus's warm breath against my ear as he started saying something calming, then like a light switch, all the things stopped. I don’t even know how long we stayed like that until he said something.
“Nyx... Nyx, are you okay?” I could hear him ask me, but I couldn’t get any words out. My head was too full with all of these things that happened and I was still trying to figure them out.
“Nyx,” he asked again as he lightly pulled me at arm’s length away from him. Small creases appeared on his face as he looked down at me, studying my face.
“I…” Trying to piece together all these memories, and make up for things that I can’t reach yet. Everything felt so unreal and false, yet from the bottom of my soul I knew it to be the truth. “I’m so sorry. Everything. We—No, you wouldn’t be like this now! You would still be 'there'. If only I waited! I made you lose so much."
"Please Nyx...don't blame yourself...it's not your fault. If I had just..." Xerebus spoke as his voice went softer with each syllable and he looked away.
“Erebus, please don’t— I… I mean Xerebus. Please don’t hurt yourself over this.” I pleaded with him, as I lightly moved his face back to look at me.
“I beg you. This is still all too weird, yet… Our emotions had the better of us, and you did what anyone else would have in your shoes. There is nothing wrong in worrying about your sister and wanting to protect her, but you were spreading yourself so thin. You were too worried about everyone else, you forgot about yourself, and you didn’t see the strain it put on you.” I said letting go of his face and looking down away from him. The fresh memories in my head kept on playing as I said them, as if it was a voice command.
“I… I should have been there at the end, Nyx—,”
“I still don’t remember everything, but I do remember that you were there. We made that promise to each other, that’s why I am here now, because of that… because of you. I wasn’t as brave or as strong as you. When I thought that you….. you… I couldn’t pick myself back up. I was too selfish.”
“I did not wish to get up myself. I thought I would never see you, but your promise made it true. You are life itself, you are my life.”
“And you are mine. Always.”
We stayed like that for a while until a knock was heard from the door. Trying to pull away I found it to be a useless attempt, for Ere-Xerebus only held me tighter. He simple told the person that they could come now, and he also added in that he needs to talk to him later. Then without opening the door a voice that was familiar answered back, Karonx.
It seemed that Karonx was very close to Xerebus, he did whatever he asked. He must have known something, or maybe Xerebus told him, about the past? For he did set Xerebus up for my arrival, but who is he? They look… Erebus does have brother, so could he be…
“The rest of your friends shall be coming in shortly, Nyx. We will have to finish the rest of this later, for I don’t think one of your friends will happily wait patiently for us to finish.”
I could feel his chuckle at the comment thru my hands and flow into me. Still holding onto my hands, he gradually pulled far enough away from me to stand and bring me up with him. I stood in awe for a moment and gradually looked up at the ceiling to see if the lights were on. Everything seemed brighter; colors seemed deeper and richer, as if a filter on the world has been removed. Now I understand the meaning between RaXi and Verex. When they look at each other, though they may not see it, they seem to look at each other with an inner glow in their eyes.
“Nyx?” he asked questionable looking at my face.
“Oh ah, Sorry. Um… I should probably brief you about all of this before they come.” Nervous again I looked away, but this time it wasn’t because I was worried I would screw up the mission. I knew he would want to help us stop Xraktos from using people’s lives to get Martel-chan back. It just felt too weird and to horrible to ask him help in this war again.
He had to go through it last time and look where it got him. All we need is some inside, and a little aid. If there are some volunteers here willing to help, then Ereb-Xerebus doesn't have to get into this again.
"Er-Xerebus... I. Please, could you promise me something? I... I don't want. Please promise me that... that you yourself will not get involved in this war! Promise me that you will not fight with Xraktos again, no matter what!! I'll do whatever you say just promise me that before they come! Please."
“Nyx—,” but just as Xerebus was about to say something a swift knock was heard from the door. Turning around just in time to see the door open by Karonx and right behind him, eyes blazing and watching every movement, RaXi. Followed by a smiling Tanex and a not so amused Marlex and Xeros.
“RaXi! You’re back and your okay… right?” I said smiling and looking for a cut or dried blood, but not even seeing a mark on her body.
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Emotional..... roller... coaster. Off.. please. @^@'
*soul fly away* @.X'
Btw: Thanks for reading everyone.
If I could have just one wish come true
I'd wish to see you, even if just in a dream
Even if this love should end
I'll shatter like glass and never get back again,
but still I love you
I don't care if it's an ambiguous relationship
Just be tender like you always were
Don't tell me the truth
I can't accept it if you can't see me anymore
~Nyx
