Fear...the one thing a warrior NEVER needed. It was even more destructive than Hesitation...and right now...I was enveloped by it. I was too delusional. But they were right there...right in front of me! People were trying to coax me out of my condition...it sounded like Lexian and Triskix...it LOOKED like Lexian and Triskix...but it couldn't be...they were on the ground...right there...yet the more they tried to convince me...the more I wanted to believe them. I reached out...putting my hand on their cheeks. They were warm...and they FELT real.
"You're...real..." I muttered. They smiled slightly but then asked about Nyx and Xemmsur. I was silenced with slight shock. Xemmsur had been there?! No...her blood was on my hands as well? She had SEEN me?? I began to breathe heavily again.
"I'm right here..." Xemmsur's voice echoed from the doorway. I didn't hear much of what they said...I began to drift back into my delusions when suddenly attention was drawn to me again.
"RaXi...you in there?" I looked up slowly...Xemmsur's cloak was dripping with blood...
"Nyx! I killed Nyx!" I screamed suddenly. I was grabbed by the arm roughly. "Let me go!! LET GO!" I yelled violently struggling. I was pulled all the way to the infirmary. Rexikat....her face and words were all a blur to me...the moment I saw Nyx. More importantly of her condition. She was more injured than they all realized...my ice crystals were inside her bloodstream. I thought she mumbled something...but I couldn't hear over the sound of my conscience screaming at me...
Rexikat was trying to make me listen. To make me understand that I wasn't the first to hurt someone. But my pride wouldn't allow me to make excuses. I was SUPPOSED to be in CONTROL! I was never supposed to do something like this again...I mean...what was all that training for? What were the long torturous lessons to accomplish? If not to allow me control.
"But...I almost killed her..." I protested...mainly to myself.
"And I’m about to almost kill you, if you don’t snap out of it! I swear, I never knew you were this weak, RaXi!" Rexikat growled.
WEAK? My mind suddenly snapped back into reality. I was acting weak...I WAS NOT WEAK!! NEVER!!! I glared at her quickly...my eyes burning angrily. “Don’t…you…EVER call me weak!” I growled and threw a hasty punch. She blocked it and threw me away. I didn't realize how utterly weak I was right now...I staggered a bit...but was too angry to back down.
“Weak! That’s what you are right now, weak! Talking to yourself? Can’t even tell what’s real and what’s not? Please!” She persisted...only serving to flare my rage.
I attacked again...this time I didn't rush in so quickly...but it was still no use...I was too drained to do any damage right now. She started laughing as she deflected me again. “Don’t you laugh at me, Rexikat,” I snarled. “I know what’s real and what’s not. I am not weak. THAT’S what’s real!" I demanded.
“Alright, RaXi, relax,” She grinned. “I was only baiting you to get you out of CuckooLand. You should be thanking me. I know how you hate appearing weak.”
I stopped in place. She had been helping me...perhaps more than she realized...but still...in front of everyone! I looked at all of their worried faces. “I guess you’re right. Thanks,” I admitted...a bit hesitant to admit I NEEDED HELP, “and I’m sorry, guys. For hurting Nyx, for all this…” In the end...I couldn't apologize enough...I could never make up for what SHE'D done...never.
I suddenly felt very light headed...after so much activity...and then relaxing...I realized how exhausted I was. I walked closer to the bed nearest me...but nearly collapsed before getting there. Triskix caught me, and kept me from falling. “Don’t worry, we’ve got you. Everything will be alright.” He assured me. He'd become so gentle...I hadn't realized it...my eyes were heavy.
“Oh,” Rexikat suddenly spoke again. “RaXi, when you’re feeling better, look me up. I’ve got…a message for you from someone dear to you.”
Dear to me? I wondered who she meant...but I knew I was in NO condition to hear it just yet...and it seemed private. After all...her words were spoken in such a way to imply that. I was grateful to her...for so many things. I nodded and she left the room.
"RaXi...you need to get some sleep." Lexian finally spoke up. "You're too exhausted...please...try."
I smiled slightly. "No." I denied flatly. They all seemed to gasp. "I still have something important to do...I know I'll be out for awhile...this comes first." Triskix didn't seem to want me to walk...he was pushing me towards the bed. "Triskix please..." I asked...I suddenly realized I would need help...as much as I HATED it. "Take me over to Nyx...you should know she'll never get any better...don't you. Or did you already forget my attacks?"
He looked at me crossly. "You know that I can heal her."
"Let me do this..." I pleaded.
Reluctantly he gave in, helping me over to Nyx's side once more. She was awake...barely. I smiled at her in pain...it took everything in me to give her such a gentle look.
"RaXi...I'm...sorry..." She mumbled.
I grabbed her hand. "No...be quiet. YOU have NOTHING to be sorry for...I'm sorry Nyx...I don't ask you to forgive me...because I swore to you that day that this wouldn't happen again...yet it did." I stopped and focused my strength. I nullified the crystals I had placed in her bloodstream. Now that they were out of her system, she should be able to start warming up. I felt myself begin to fail, and I leaned a little more on Triskix. Yet quickly I picked myself back up...stubborn as ever. I was put in the nearest bed...and before my head even hit the pillow...I was out.
~RaXi
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Kira: Geez RaXi...so much drama...
RaXi: -_-' Yes...thank you Rex, for smacking me back to reality...and...everyone...so sorry I'm so much trouble... T.T
Kira: XO Never thought I'd see the day!
RaXi: *turns serious* BUT DON'T EVER THINK YOU'LL SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN! I'M NOT WEAK!!!!
Kira: o_o' Come on RaXi...we all have times where we're weak and need to lean on someone...lol...though your periods of weakness are FARTHER apart...you still have them...
RaXi: I do not! >.>'
